No sir, I don't just write 'love' stories!

A moment worth writing about.

2006-12-18T00:13:00.000-08:00

She rests on one side of my shoulder and he on the other side. My 4 year old and my 9 month old. I feel the warmth of their bodies as I rock them to sleep on the cozy rocker which is big enough to hold the 3 of us. Both of them are very tired after a couple of hours of playing. They promptly fall off to sleep, their weight getting heavier on my shoulders. I want to cherish this moment as long as I can. I know one day I'd be thinking back to this moment and wishing that my kids were so small that they could both fit in my arms! That my kids were so attached to me, that both of them wanted to sleep in my arms and they could too! It was an unforgettable moment and I had to blog it!
I am hoping moments like these are more and more since I am working from home from the past week and it is a joy to be with my kids all day. I do get a breather on Thursday's where I have to troop into work, a welcome breather I must add, but the joy of staying at home, dropping and picking Lil A to school, being with Lillee all day - ah! This is what dreams are made up of!
Yeh chote bachche itni jaldi bade ho jaate hain! I look at Lillee and think that not long ago Lil A was the same size and I look at her now, towering over him - going - mamma main choti nai hoon - time just flies!!

Magical Moments with Lil A

2006-08-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I get home from work, do the usual and at about 10 o’clock prepare to cook next days lunch and dinner. Lil’lee [My son] would not let me work nor would he be calmed in his dad’s lap. So I had to take over and could not start my work until a couple of hours later.
Dad and son both are asleep. I am cutting, chopping and cooking in the kitchen. Keeping me company is my darling Lil A. She sits on the bar stool and keeps talking to me. Our conversation goes something like this.
“Tho A aapka school next week shuru hora”She starts laughing and clapping in glee.“Kya hora?” I ask.“Main bhoth exciting ho gai mammma” she says.I smile. I do not want to correct her, as usual.“Tho A school mein kya karte?” I ask her.“Apne friends se milte”“Kaun friend?”“Main noni [her way of addressing her dad] ku bol di mamma”“Merku bhi bolo..”“Aap noni se poochlo mamma. Main bhoth tired ho gai aapku bolne” she says with an impish grin.I grin back. She knows how to make excuses very well.“Aap aaj office mein kya karen mamma?” she asks me.“Computer pe kaam kare A” I tell her.“Main aapke office kab aa sakti?” she asks.“Aaay the na aap!”“Nai roz kab aa sakti?”“Kyon meri office ku kaiku aate…”“Kaam karna rehta na mamma” she laughs out amused that I am asking a silly question.“Tum abeech kaam nai kar sakte A” I tell her.“Tho phir kab karna?”“Bade hole karna”“kyon?”“kyonki pehle aapku school finish karana padta, phir college mein jaana padhta, phir job karna padta”“Achcha”“Kya job karte tum?”She does not know what to say. So I give her multiple choice“Doctor Bante? Engineer Bante? Computer pe kaam karte? Yaan Kahaniyaan likhte?”“Doctor Banter” she says confidently.“Achcha? Kyon?” I ask.“Tabiyat theek karne..” she answers.“Kiski?” I ask.“Arey mamma, jinki tabiyat kharaab hothi unki” she says.She is keeping me company. Making my chores seem so easy. Its nice to be spending time with her like this. After a while I observe that she’s getting a little bored.“TV dekhte A?” I ask her.“hau mamma. Woh naye waale cartoons dekhte..” she says.I put her Cartoon Network on. She watches for about 5 minutes and comes back.“Mamma merku bhoth neend aari. Aap merku sula de sakte?”“A mamma ku kaam hain na beta. Aap jaake noni ke saath so jaao!”“Nai mamma. Aap merku sulaana…”“Main nai sula sakti bete. Mera kaam khatam nai hua na.”“Theek hain mamma aapka kaam khatam hue baad sula do…” she says her huge eyes filled with sleep.“Der hothi na A, aap Baba air Lil’Lee ke paas jaake so jaao!”“Nai mamma. Main aapka wait kartoon..” she says and goes to watch TV again.I work for a while and she is quiet. Maybe she is asleep I think and go to check, but no she is not sleeping she is forcing herself to watch, not allowing herself to fall asleep.I work as fast as I could. She keeps coming over to determine whether I have finished and how much more longer I have to go.At last I am done.“Chalo A. Mamma ka kaam khatam ho gaya!” I say.She giggles with happiness.Both of us go upstairs hand in hand. Its 1:30 am.Dad and son are fast asleep.We go in A’s room. Its an emotional moment for me. The little darling waited for me so long to finish my work for that moment. So that I could turn my attention from everything else in the world and focus just on her. She was so happy to have those few minutes of complete attention from me. Lil’Lee’s arrival has put a huge dent in one to one interaction with Lil A. But at that time the whole house is asleep. I change her into her night dress and she happily climbs into bed.“Ek story bol sakte mamma” she asks.“Nai A mamma bhoth thak gay” I say.“Achcha mammma” she says as he hugs me close.“Aap merku bhoth pasand mamma…” she says happiness writ large on her face.“Aap bhi merku bhoth pasand A” I tell her.I start weaving a story. She is very happy. She kisses me in the end, turns and falls asleep and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to be loved so unconditionally and so completely.
I know things are going to change as the years roll by. That I am not going to be her complete universe. Infact I would not want to be either. But to feel that you mean so much to a small child, to feel so needed, to be so loved..its indeed something. The moment was just magical!

I am it...

2006-02-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

There is this tag-game going on in the blog-world. I thought I was not playing until Chay tagged me with a you are it! you are it! in her exhaustively exuberant style. Since she recently did something very nice for me, [yep, yep she is capable of doing nice things too ;-) ] I could not refuse her. So here is the list. A little whacky I assure you but hey that's me.

1.Don't bump me on my head with a club. I do not like that at all: Sensitivity. The most important thing I would seek in my man, or from any human being for that matter is sensitivity. While I belive that each one of us is sensitive to ourselves, it is being sensitive to other people and their feelings that matters more. I feel aghast whenever I hear insensitive comments coming from oh-so-sensitive people who would wilt if a drop of water were to fall on them but have no qualms about squishing other people's feelings beneath their feet. So please put that club away my man, especially when I am around!

2. Color me Red: Passion. You could as well be dead without it. Passion for what you might ask? Well it could be anything. Music, Travelling, Partying, Movies, Books, Friends, Conversations, Art, Family, Hobbies - anything. As long as there is a passion within a person, I can relate to that person. Passionless existence turns me off big time. Maybe it is very wrong of me but I'd be like - so what is it that you live for? So come with with me my love and let's play with the color red!

3. This features on almost every list and mine too : Sense of Humor. I think it was on Rad's blog that I read something that went like if that man can make you laugh - then marry him. Don't look for anything else. I forwarded that to my husband because the foremost quality that he posesses is this incredible sense of humor which can put a smile on the most sourest of souls. While I would not say that sense of humor is the only thing, I would definitely say its a top rated quality. One that is justified in appearing in every list possible. Though one important thing to watch out for is whether your sense of humor and the person's in question [the perfect lover ;-)] should match. If your idea of sense of humor is quite different from his' then you are doomed. Other than that if he can make me smile, nay, laugh, through my blues then add one more to the score!

4. Dil bole boom-boom: Physical Attraction. Well, well, well I would say I am talking about love and making love here. For me a relationship is doomed if one is not physically attracted to the other. I mean it is wonderful if you connect emotionally, can speak with your eyes and all that stuff but if you can't make each others' heart go boom-boom then you are definitely not doing something right. And that one would be a great put-downer - a person who cannot do it right. Sexual compatibility adds so much more to a relationship and I entirely disagree with the hypothesis that it fades after a while. Well then please don't let it fade. I would much rather be dead [ok I exaggerate a little] then be with a person who cannot make me desire him just by a look or a touch. A lot of factors go in making that happen. Looks, grooming, confidence, sense of dress, the kind of shape you are in, the kind of err..moves you can make coupled with love ofcourse...whoa! whatta combination!!

5.Yeh interest ki baat hain: Common interests. I would love it if my man shares, some, if not all common interests with me. It would be a major turn-off for me if the man is not into any kind of sport. If he is into cricket, so much the better, but somehow a man with no interest in any kind of sport, whether in following it or playing it somehow gets a -1 in my list. I should be able to come home and say - Dhoni ne kya dhulaai ki without him going is Dhoni a Dhobi by any chance? Now that would be a major turn-off. Other than sports, I would like us to enjoy a Jajgit Singh ghazal as much as we would enjoy watching Seinfield. A man who could enjoy a serious film just as much as he would laugh at There is Something about Mary!

6. Hey! you..dont' you dare run away: Courage. Courage to stand up to oneself and courage to do the right thing. I cannot stand mousy men who would much rather distance themselves from any kind of disturbance and be left in peace rather than taking up cudgels - who cannot face confrontation of any kind. I am all for not creating unpleasant situations and trying to stay away from them but if you are dragged into one such situation then you better have the courage to stand up for yourself. A little bit of aggression when it is needed is a very good thing in my book. Not foolish aggression mind you, but one in which you do not take crap from anyone and everyone but give them back in the same coin. I would hate it if my man went - chalo nikalte hain yahaan se when confronted with unpleasantness. Thoda muscles flex karo, when the need arises!!

7.Treat me well..treat me special : A romantic. Not your chocolate-roses-valentine's day romance mind you but more of the practical kind. Like wanting to spend time with me, doing small things like taking out the trash, bringing in the groceries without having to nag, saying something special - even something as corny as you are not just my wife, but my life ;-), staying up talking all night long, going out on an impromptu long drive..sigh...that is the stuff dreams, nay, real life is made up of. The I-am-here-for-you-no-matter-what-and-I-love-being-there kind of person!

8.I would list all other qualities as number 8. All that go without saying. Compassion, respect, understanding, support..blah blah.

uff! Good Lord! I am done.wooooooooooooo hoooooooooooooo hooooooooooo!
Now comes the best part. I can now say you are it.
I would wish to tag
Peppy, Cheti , Captain Nemo, Ananth and Silo!

A view and 2 reviews...

2006-02-02T11:14:00.000-08:00

You do not kill yourself or harm yourself for an injustice done to you in which you had no part. That is the feeling I got from watching two Hindi movies recently. The stories of both of them were based on a significant event in which someone close to the hero/villian kills herself because of some events where the person is humiliated for no fault of her own. So suicide comes into the picture initiating a chain of events. Both were well-made movies which were away from the norm of some irritating revenge sagas. One was Zinda and the other was Kalyug. Both had tight-scripts and some very good music going for them.

But I shall be partial to Kalyug because of the performance of the lead action. Kunaal Khemu, who was a child actor not long ago,acting as the young Ajay Devgan in Zakhm - another good movie. This is an actor to watch out for. He gives such a powerful performance. He is good looking, has lovely flowing hair [which happens to be one of my weakness'], a deep voice and above all a talent for acting that many of our mainstream heros could do well with. He recently bagged the Stardust Award for the Best Debut Performance. He more than deserves it. Its amazing that someone so young could exude so much pain and intensity in the role of a young man whose wife commits suicide unable to bear humiliation heaped on her. The revenge saga was believable. One could feel his raw pain though one wishes that the director could have spared some more time in the love story to make his pain appear even more acute. A little story development between him and his wife could have been good though the Jiya Dhadak Dhadak song does a lot in that area. what a beautiful song! What simple lyrics but so soo effective. It goes something like this -
tuhje dekh dekh sona, tujhe dekh kar hai jagna..
maine yeh zindagaani sang tere bitaani...

how beautifully the concept of a marriage is conveyed here. People writing recycled lyrics for Hindi Songs could learn so much from this verse. Simple Originality. Pakistani Songs are so sublime...this song is just too good. Listen to it.

Before you get too comfortable the movie in the next five minutes takes a drastic turn and morphs into a revenge saga. Though the hero manages to get to the top of the chain responsible for his wife's death pretty easily, its an interesting trip nonethless made more believable by Kunaal Khemu's performance. He is simply brilliant. [am I gushing yet?]. But there is a speed-breaker in the form of one Mr.Emraan Hashmi [who btw was voted as your classic sadak-chap seedy character if there ever was in terms of looks and performance on SB today]. ugh! ugh! ugh! What does the junta see in this guy is always at the back of mind whenever I am enduring his performance err..on screen that is. He is so so bad in what should have been a powerful cameo but what with the Bhatt camp's obsession with him, he is given this role and he fails to err..perform!

And also there is Amrita Singh in it. Once again an author-backed role which she tries best to perform with her limited acting abilities. She does a decent job but the hard work in getting the scenes right shows. She is too tense - though that was required of the role too I guess. All in all a must-watch movie.

Now coming to Zinda. Over-hyped would be the word to use here. I had studiously kept away from any sort of spoilers on this movie. All I knew was that it was a remake of a Korean Movie - Old Boy. Yes, that's right our movie-makers have remade all good Hollywood movies that could be remade. Now they are looking elsewhere for inspiration. So I settled down to watch it late in the night without any distractions [read after Lil A had gone to sleep] and was very happy that it was supposed to be just a 2-hour movie. I had high expectations from it. As one Mr.SSM will vouch for me, for one it starred two of my most favorite handsome hunks ..Sanju Baba and Johnny Baby. The music was once again very good. Esp loved the song - Yeh hain meri Kahaani...wonderful lyrics and music once again. Esp the lyrics. Very very meaningful and intense. Gems like:

Yeh hain meri kahaani - khamosh zindagaani;
Ek daastaan puraani - tanhaai ki Zubaani;
har zakhm khil raha hain - kuch mujh se keh raha hain;
chubte kaante yaadon ke daaman se chunta hoon...
girti deewaaron ke aanchal mein zinda hoon..
Bas yeh meri kahaani - benishaan nishaani

The movie starts off showing a very normal couple, a normal friendship and once again before you start to get too comfortable there is that drastic turn again. The hero is imprisoned for no reason at all. For 14 years. Given the same food every single day and his only connection to the outside world is a small TV placed in the room. I read on oz's review of the same Zinda, where thou soul where he felt that the director did not do justice to this sequence of events where Sanju baba is relegated to a single room. That he skipped over a lot of things that could have been unpalatable to the Indian psyche. well, I tend to agree with him though there was relief somewhere that such details were indeed skipped ;-) But I have to agree one does not feel sorry for Sanju Baba somehow. One does feel his frustration but somehow since the whole 14 years was shown in about 15-20 minutes, one does not feel the passing of so much time. The director should have done more to show his pain and suffering to make us empathize with the character more. For example not once is it shown that Sunju is missing his wife. Its like he does not even think about her or his life at all. There should have been more pathos, more feeling - atleast in the beginning stages of his imprisonment. Could understand his apathy later but not in the beginning. There is no reaching towards one's heart that would have made us sympathize with Sanju's character a lot more. I for one could not feel his agony. Sanjay Dutt does act well, but that is to be expected. He could have done more with it imho, which he doesn't somehow. He always comes across as being human though the role demanded that when he gets out he has turned into a monster. One does not get that feeling at all. Not even when he is doing a root-canal on Zutshi with a hammer ;-). He just does not loose the human-touch as he is supposed to!

Then ofcourse there is John Abraham. He does not make his appearance in the movie until it is almost 3/4th done. He looks uh..out of this world, though his character is once again run of the mill. The suave trillionaire who can stand to loose a million a day. But one thing about his performance is though he is dressed in the best of clothes compared to Sanju's tatters, one can feel the inhumaness in him just by looking at the cold look in his eyes. That I think is the hallmark of a good actor. That he can look the part, get into the skin of the character without any props but just by being himself. The only thing about Johnny Baba is that he can only look 2 parts - the cold blooded killer or the intense lover. He gets into trouble if he tries to do anything else!! I esp am near puking when he is trying his hand at comedy. Could not watch 'Garam Masala' after a few frames wherein he is shown to be this brainless photographer. John Abraham and brainless? They just don't go together!! So we have a brainy John Abraham who keeps challenging the hero to find out what it is all about. OUr hero sure does. With the help of - you guessed it - a female interest. How could there not be one? There has to be. So we have the Svelte Lara Dutta who happens to be a cab-driver, who instead of riding her taxi in the opposite direction at top-speed when she sees Sunju drill into a man actually falls for him. Dumb? You got it...well anyways so Sanju Baba does come to know what the secret is.

And the secret is - well that's the climax of the review. The secret is that there is not much of a secret. It is such a trivial reason that you are left completely shocked that Sanju Baba and you had been subjected to such torture for something that wasn't completely his fault. Maybe that is what the directed wanted to convey - that he had to go thru so much for such a silly reason. Here you are waiting with bated breath as to what inspired all this - and when it is revealed to you, you are left cold. That spoiled the whole movie for me somehow. It made Johnny look very childish and infact very stupid. That such an intelligent man who could trade in millions, interact with so many people could harbor such childish thoughts on revenge seemed somehow too far-fetched to me. It would have been so cool if Sanju's character had done some evil things in the past and one of them happened to happen to Jonh Abraham. That could have explained his single-minded devotion in seeking revenge. But no, it has to be cliched and cliched it is. Right from the reason to Johnny growing so rich in a few years to have Sanju working for him in one of his company from his innumerable ones. Couldn't John have been an ordinary person? What was the reason to show him as being so rich and succesful. Looks very cliched. Not a must-watch but not bad either.

Coming back to why I started to write these reviews. As I said both the movies had a suicide where someone close to the hero/villian commits suicide for no fault of their own. I wonder why that happens. In Kalyug the heroine jumps out of the window after a porn film which was made without her knowledge is shown to her. She does not pause to think - that's my husband I am with and if some goofball taped it and distributed it on the internet, I should not be killing myself but killing that goofball instead. Somehow can never understand that concept where people kill themselves instead of brushing the thing away. Sure you might face some humiliation but is that pain more than the pain you would be causing your loved ones, especially someone as cute as Kunal Khemu who sings such wonderful songs like Jiya Dhadak Dhadak jayen to you!!

Not bad at all...

2006-01-03T10:19:00.000-08:00

"merku Naani jaan ku kuch bolna hain" she said as I made the customary Saturday Night call to my mom in India. I try to make it as late as possible so that Lil A is asleep and does not disturb me. She is with me almost very second of the day from Friday afternoon [where she gets off school] till Monday Morning. Does not leave me for a second. Does not want to either. And as is usual with kids wants all of mom's attention for herself. She is very fidgety when I talk to Mom because she thinks that I am diverting attention away from my mom. I remember visiting mom when Lil A was only 8 months old. Whenever I'd sit next to my mom, or put my head in her lap, she would with all her strength first crawl to wherever we were sitting. [though she had started to walk when we we in the US she stopped her attempts while in India. You see she must've felt better be safe than sorry as she felt the hard marble flooring underneath her feet instead of the plush carpet. Not once did she try to take a step for the whole month that we were there. Once we came back to India she started walking around as if it was the most natural thing to do. My mother still recalls how careful her grand-daughter was about her safety even when she was so young!] So anyways she'd crawl to wherever we were sitting, climb with all her might and then try to squeeze in between the both of us! I think she realizes that if anyone comes close to the love I have for her, its my mom and her father. She has resigned herself to accepting her father in her mom's life because he is always around and though she sometimes screams out lustily - "Noni, woh mere mamma hain" she generally does not try to seperate us as long as she is a part of the process. If we share a kiss or a hug with her watching, she does not say anything. She just starts going backwards with a hurt expression of her face with -

"Main akeli mere room me chale jaati. Merku koi bhi nai love karte..."
We have to apologize and call her back with a group hug, group hug and she forgets all the hurt in an instant and is the centre of the group hug!

So anyways she starts acting fidgety whenever I am on the phone with my mom. She tries getting my attention doing this or that and her master-stroke is asking to speak to nani-jaan because she knows that Nanijaan loves to talk to her. So anyways she asks for the phone saying she needs to talk to her Naani-jaan and when Naani-jaan comes on the phone she says -

"Naani-jaan yeh mere best mamma hain" she says pointing to me.

I was speechless. Did not know where that was coming from. The joy I felt at that moment is inexplicable. Nothing like I had ever felt before in my life surely. My almost 4 year old out of her voilition saying something like that. I wondered what had prompted that. Was it the Chicken Little movie I had taken her to that evening or the movies I had got her from the library or the homework we had done together where she is starting to learn to draw shapes and also recognize them. For the first time she came to know what having trouble means. She breezed through Uppercase alphabets and number but shapes presented a problem to her. She wanted them not to and we spent almost half hour where she kept confusing the rectangle with the square and had difficulty remembering a 'triangle'. She could not understand why a round was being called a new name - a circle. Many a time I told her we could do it tomorrow but she wanted to get them right. And she did much to the delight of her mamma who hugged her with a lot of kisses and appreciative words. Her face lit up and I knew why getting them right had seemed suddenly so important to her.

She revels when you praise her on her abilities and God forbid you do not laugh at something you had laughed at earlier. She would be at your neck till you give her the exact same reaction that you did when she did the routine the first time around. It gets so painful sometimes. You have to remember exactly what you said, how you said, what expression you gave, how tight the hug was, how high the pitch of your voice was, what exactly your action was and repeat it every time she does the act that elicited the response from you. If you forget, she will make you remember exactly with a high pitched response what will make you curse yourself for praising her the first time around.

"Mamma aisa haath utha ke, aise jhuk ke, aisa kisshi karke, meri pyaari beti kitta achcha kari aisa bole the na, waisa bolo" she will tell you and you have to do exactly that!

For example as I asked her to grab her homework [which included the shapes thing] as she got ready for school after a 2-week break today, the first thing she does is ask me
"Woh mushkil waala page kidhar hain?"
I have to halt everything that I doing and turn to the correct page.
She spreads it before here and without missing a heartbeat spews out the shapes, all correct. You guessed it now I have to give her the same reaction I had on Saturday night. Thankfully I manage and she is beaming. Not for nothing do they say that bringing up kids can be quite a job!

I also love the way she is picking up harder urdu words and especially using them in her conversations. Lil A is a very picky eater. To this day I have to spend almost an hour getting her to eat a proper meal. One thing she has taking a liking to in true Hyderabadi tradition is ofcourse Hyderabadi Biryani! With a couple of variations though - the rice has to be very soft [she seems to think chewing is a chore] and no mirchi at all. So I make special Biryani for her and her alone. Chicken, Gosth and vegetable pulao too because that is the best way to get some meat and vegetables into her. So I had made some Gosht ki Biryani and was happily relating to MIL that Lil A had eaten all her food and very fast too to encourage her to eat like that always. To that she says -
"A shauq se khaa liye nai mamma"
I was very happy that she used the word 'shauq' correctly in there.
And yesterday while I was putting her to bed, she was crying about something. She says in her most innocent voice -
"A ku dekho kitte aansoo aare!"
I was stunned. She always used aankh mein paani to denote her tears.
"Aap A ku daante tho A ke aankhon mein se kitta paani aara dekho" she would lament tightly shutting her eyes so that max amount of tears could flow out for her emotional black mail!
I was very impressed with the usage of the word aansoo. Not bad! Not bad at all.

My mother has always been worried that we emphasize too much on urdu that she is not getting any exposure to english at all. Our argument has been that once she gets into school she would pick it up in no time at all. That was exactly what she did but thankfully her major mode of communication remained urdu, especially with us. She would speak some sentences but would switch back to urdu since she could better express in that language [smug smile here from mom]. Even while speaking english she would insert urdu words in between.

"Maama A rakh the pencil in her pocket.." she would say since the word rakh came easier to her than its english counterpart. So anyways we went to Devon this week and she met a boy about her age in the masjid. That's when I got a glimpse of how much of English she had picked up. She would not budge from the language even though I told her the boy spoke urdu. Her patar,patar forced the boy's mom to ask if we spoke to her in English at home. Caused me to roll my eyes and say nai, nai - she's doing this for the first time. That caused the boy's mother to roll her eyes with a yeah right! you are lying...I tried subtly coaxing Lil A to switch to urdu talking to her in the language but it seemed like she was intent on flaunting her english skills and she did it in style. Not one urdu word came out of her mouth and I watched quite amused at the whole situation.

Then she sat down with the kids and started telling them a story.
There was this big dinosaur. He was really, really big. His name was Alama-dinosaur. He open his mouth and talk very loud. He has very big mouth. Two alligators come and try to catch alamo-dinosaur. But alamo-dinosaur very big. He scare the alligators...and on it went.

Not bad at all, right?

[btw Chicken Little is one boring movie. It was so senseless. Just when you settle down thinking it is one of those yawn-my-father-is-a-star-i-am-not-and-i-shall-prove-i-am-too kinda tear jerker only to be launched into a full scale sci-fi hogwash. Aliens vaporizing people, cutting through a field where the little ones are hiding, making all sorts of loud sounds which made my eyes pop out almost - bah! it was a royal bore and from where it was supposed to be a kids' movie I am stil thinking? Apart from the cute cartoon of Chicken Little, who I found very annoying, a cuter cartoon of the father, who I found even more annoying and ofcourse a fat pig who eats a lot and bumbles all the time and is the most annoying...what else made it a kids' movie is beyond me. Very bad!]

A review of a movie and a book!

2005-11-28T12:05:00.000-08:00

Took Lil A to the wallace and Gromit movie. Well, well, well the creativity of some people never ceases to amaze me. The intelligent being in this movie happens to be Gromit, Wallace's pooch. He was without doubt the hero of the enterprise. This movie is stop-motion animated which is much harder to film than a conventional animated movie. The characters are made up of a synthetic substance called Plasticine, similar to clay and the animation is achieved by moving them fractionally in each frame. In a high action chase scene for example they apparently filmed a 40-sec scene after shooting for a week. So what is the big deal you ask? For that you have to watch just one character in the movie. The voice-less Gromit. The dog does not even have a mouth - just a pair of eyes and a big round nose - but most of all he has this raised forehead, which is used in collusion with the eyes to create such unbelievable expressions. I could not take my eyes of the dog. Each expression, each frame, I was blown over. It was fantastic as I watched him make a face at some of his master's [Wallace's] antics his forehead moving slightly to the left as his eyes rolled upwards, or realize the secret of who the were-rabbit is with the forehead shooting upwards and the eyes bulging a bit, or beating stress by relaxing the foreheard and the eyes and reaching for a pair of knitting needles - absolutely a treat to watch! A lovable pooch who keeps an eye on his brilliant master's ideas getting out of hand and extracting him from the mess that eventually comes out of it with a resigned expression. Move over Arshad Warsi, Gromit is me current favorite! yes every dog has its day.

Now that the Gromit-gushing is done with, let's focus on what seems to be a trend amongst animated movie's these days. I wonder if this is because the brains that go into the making of the film realize that the children are always accompanies by adults, so lets throw in some entertainment from them too in the form of adult jokes that will safely sail over the lil one's head. There are a few hilarious scenes in the movie which had me chuckling with Lil A watching seriously. One in which the priest is going through a mag title Nun Wrestling and hastily tries to cover up, another [and perhaps the most hilarious] where Lady Tottingham is strategically placed in front of two large lemons as she sighs - he does not seem interested in 'my produce'! Just for a fleeting second the scene is shown but boy! oh boy! was it a nice break from the lovable dog chasing the giant rabbit. Yes, the movie did get cheesy or too kiddish in the last reels but it was a good watch nonethless. Almost all of Gromit's scenes are classics. Do keep an eye on the dog!

After watching the movie, I wondered for a long time as to how people come up with fantastic ideas like this. To make a clay figure with no voice, no visible mouth convey so much expression - to come up with the idea of the raised forehead to do the talking - how brilliant a mind should that be. Nay, how creative I should say. I am reading [as part of my I-have-to-start-reading drive] a book titled 'Creativity'. The first couple of chapters talk about what creativity is. How it differs from talent or even brilliance. It seems to be set for an interesting read. I hope it doesn't get too bogged down with the details and gets on with the interesting topics of creativity amongst some 300 people interviewed in various fields. Details reminds me of the first book I read in this new drive of mine - the read more drive to be more specific ;-) - Jhumpa Lahiri's 'The Namesake'.

The first couple of paras that I read, the detail was stunning and so to the point. A good start always is a good thing, nai? So I read it with gusto..though it tended to drag with the same details in some parts, it was never boring. Since it was the story of an NRI family, one could relate to almost everything they go thru. There was no poking fun at Indians kinda thing, instead it was more direct. This is what it is, you decide kinda thing! Sometimes I could feel myself squirming with embarassment at some of the things pointed to as being specific to Indians. Like a punch in the face. Just when you thought - hey this seems to be pointing too many things out, the book takes a drastic turn somewhere past the halfway mark. A tragedy turns things around and Lahiri takes a more relaxed approach. I was able to relax too instead of looking for another insult [that would be a strong word now] - I must say another finger-point in every para. It was highly perceptive though. Some people do have remarkable attention to detail and Lahiri is one of them. She makes us notice things we tend to overlook or even ignore and its not always a pretty picture and sometimes it turns out that it is indeed a pretty picture, you were just looking it in the wrong direction! Like for example, Gogol [the namesake's] resignation at always being surrounded by Bengali families and then around the end his reluctant admission that they had always been there - at every point in his life - celebrating with him his successes which might not have been the same without them - it was kind of touching though Lahiri manages to convey that in just a sentence. That was the tone of the entire novel. The flowing prose not pausing too much to deal with emotions. Instead letting the reader absorb what he could and move on to other details of how the grease from the cooking formed a thin layer on the containers in the kitched! A very good read and the ending was the best part of it. I just loved the way it ended. Once again conveyinglot of emotion but not a lot of wordy words. Just a teeny weeny complaint though. Except Gogol's mother none of the other women's characters are well developed. Lahiri seems harsher with her women character's than she is with the men. There are not one but two cheating and much married women one of whose husband keeps her lipstick with him while he is travelling so that he could feel her close to him. She in turn, twice a week removes her Wedding ring to make love to another man while her husband is doing the travelling. Well that is fine I thought and continued until I came to the second woman who does the same [yes make love to another man 2 designated days of the week] even as he waits for her as if his life depended on it at home. I was like - hello! What about the men? Haan? Haan? Lahiri doesn't get too judgemental about these women, but somehow I felt a wee bit uncomfortable. I would have loved a male cheating character instead of all the men being dutiful, cooking for their pregnant wives, adjusting for their sake, loving them unconditionally, never uttering a harsh word to them - yes it happens I am sure but 100% of the time? Yeah right! All in all a very good read. Highly recommend and I finished the book in about a week. Woo hoo! [ok ok so it was thanksgiving week!]

Hyderabadi Kachche Gosht ki Biryani

2005-11-02T15:10:00.000-08:00

The making of 'authentic' Hyderabadi biryani they say is an art. I tend to agree with this concept since when I first started to make meself some Biryani, I was amazed at the results. I would not expound much on the results because I do not want to go over the horrors and spook myself once again. All I could say before I embark on this recipe is that I owe a heartfelt thanks to my dearest husband for always having been there for me. Some might say that it is easy to be there for a person you love, but let me assure you that even the strongest of loves would sway in face of a goeey mess that the 'better' half comes up with and serves you with Here's Hyderabadi Biryani for you. Can you imagine what must have gone through his 100% Hyderabadi brain where he must've devoured every kind of Hyderabadi Biryani from gosht to chicken to even Kalyani in his hometown? Full marks to him for gobbling it up with a 'Thoda gal gayee lekin maze mein bhoth achchi hain' trying hard to bite the gosht which was as hard as the rice was soft! The experiments did go on with various other foods - papad like rotis, sheera less gulab jamuns, hard-as-rocks ras malais, the watery saalans, the missing chicken in the chicken korma and such stuff. So dearest, I owe it to you.

OK now that the opening credits and also the special thanks section done with let's proceed to the opening scene. I gave up trying to make Hyderabadi Lamb Biryani after a couple of attempts. I did improve on the goeey-mess of the rice but the lamb would always remain undercooked. I had to watch DH struggle manfully to chew it without his strong jaw breaking. So I was very disheartened after a few attempts gave up altogether and stuck to making Hyderabadi Chicken Biryani that is so much more easier because chicken cooks in a jiffy and thus ends up being tender all the time. But I knew in my heart of hearts that to be able to ever call myself a good cook hailing from the Hyderabad area, I HAD to master the art of making the Hyderabadi Gosht ki Biryani. So started my research into this art form.

The first teacher I sought was my Mother-in-law. She makes some elaborate Hyderabadi dishes and what better person to go after than an expert in the field. So I accosted her. She gave me lessons but somehow I failed again miserably. It was the same story. The meat was anything but tender. If I put in too much dahi for it to cook, then the rice would be too soft, if not, the biryani would get burnt. Once again I let it go. That is until I discovered something. Something labelled 'The Meat Tenderizer'. And the rest they say is history. Now, not a daawat goes by without the Gosht ki Biryani and I tell you nothing can beat the satisfaction of Hyderabadi's praising your cooking. OK now off to the recipe.

The trick with gosht to be tender is that you need to marinate the lamb pieces atleast a day earlier. I tend to use boneless meat since there is not much cooking time, there is not enough time for the bones to shed their flavor. So better used some place else, but you could use meat with bones too. I do not. So anyways, I clean the pieces, cut them into about 1 inch pieces, making sure that they are not very small nor evey big. The marinate consists of just ginger-garlice paste, haldi and the savior-in-disguise meat tenderizer. The point to be noted here is that since the meat tenderizer already comes with salt, there is no need to add any salt to the marinate. You would add the same amount of meat tenderizer as you would do with salt. That is it - that is the work for the night. You put the marinate in the fridge and happily go to sleep trying to assure your husband [and more so yourself] that everything is going to turn out just fine. Please to ignore any nightmares that have to do with either the Lamb, Hyderabad or whether the tenderizer would do its job or not. Just sleep.

When you get up bright and early next morning, the firs thing you do [assuming you are making the Biryani for lunch] is to soak the rice. Now in traditional Hyderabadi Birayni the lamb:rice ratio is like 2:1. I have tried that ratio and no wonder the Hyderabadi's seem like such wonderful people - too mucn lamb in the system! Somehow that ratio seems like too much of meat in it. You could still keep the ratio if you are a big meat eater and nothing else, but if you enjoy the taste of biryani rice and the meat as you take a mouthful then 1:1 is the ration to go for you. Now wash the basmati rice and soak it in water for a couple of hours. Add saabit [whole] garam masala to it - like 2 elaichis [cardamom], a few laung [cloves] and a stick of cinnamon. Mix salt too. That shall make sure that your rice smells heavenly. The basmati rice that you get here is nothing compared to what one gets in India. The aroma of the rice is so wonderful that even when you are just washing the rice, you can smell it in the next room [ok ok some hyderabadi exaggeration here]. Compared to that the basmati rice here is so bad that even when it is cooking you can smell nothing fragrant. But we gotta do the best we can so that's what we shall do. Now set the rice aside and take the marinate out. Don't worry, it has not gone green!!

Now mix red chilli in the mixture. Depending on how much spice you eat, and how much you put in a curry of the same quantity, double it. Since you are gonna have rice all over this marinate, you have to make sure that the mixture is really spicy so that the biryani does not turn out too bland. Next add hara masala. Hara masala consists of chopped green chillies, chopped mint and chopped coriander. Make it a generous of mint and coriander since they also help with the aroma. Next comes the hard part. The tali hui pyaaz. Once again DO NOT use the readily available Fried Onion that you get in the market. Almost all of the brands have flour mixed into them and this will make your biryani - err gooey! So ..ahem..fry your own onions. I think I elucidated on the art of frying onions in my mirchi ka saalan recipe but I shall reproduce here for your benefit.

First slice the onions. Now these slices should be really wafer like and also be of the same thickness [or is it thinness]. If they are of variable thickness when you deep fry them in the oil, some shall burn out fast while the others are still raw. So make sure you beg,borrow or steal some appliance or person or knack to do this job. Once you got a decent pile of onion slices [a big pile, since the onions loose a lot of water when you fry them and err..shrink...so please to plan accordingly], deep fry them in lotsa oil. Keep a close watch on the onions, since they tend to burn very easily and that is not going to do anything for your Biryani or the aroma in your kitchen. Keep stirring them constantly and once they start changing color to a reddish brown, take them out and spread them over a paper towel and let them cool. Take some of the oil that you have used for frying and mix it with the marinate. The story with the quantity of oil is the more the umm..tastier...so use it according to how fat-free or fat-ful you want to make the recipe. But don't be too stingy with it since the biryani will turn out too dry.

Next comes one of the most important ingredients - the yogurt! Now preparing yogurt for the marinate is once again an art! It should be thick and creamy and just a little but sour. Not too much but should not be sweet, not by a long shot. That will make the Biryani tasteless. So if you are using fresh dahi you will be out of luck. Set it out atleast for 6-8 hours before you use it so that it has the requisite sourness. Now use this in the marinate. The quantity should be such that all the pieces of lamb are well coated. Now add some garam masala powder, lemon jucie, 3/4th of the fried onions to the marinate and congratulations - you are done. With the preperation that is. Now go and rest for a couple of hours, keeping the marinate outside to reach room temperature. You need it!

After the much needed rest, transfer the marinate in a wide and thick bottomed vessel. Make sure you can see the oil in the mixture. Otherwise it is too dry. Add some more oil if that happens. Simultaneoulsy in another big vessel take lotsa water to cook the rice. Boil the water first and when it starts to bubble add the washed and soaked rice. On second kani ie when the rice is starting to get soft but still has some hardness to it, remove the rice, drain the water and cover the marinate with this rice. Smooth the top with a ladle. Use 1/2 of the 1/4th fried onions left [yep this art needs some math too], more lemon juice, chopped mint and coriander and some saffron dissolved in warm milk. Now cover the vessel and make it secure so that no steam escapes. In Hyderabad that is done by sealing the lid with some flour! But if you have a tight fitting lid, then that will do its job. Now on full flame cook for about 5 minutes. If your stove top is too small and the base of the vessel too big then you need to keep rotating the vessel so that constant heat reaches it all over. After 5 minutes reduce the flame to less tham medium and keep rotating the vessel from time to time. You need to cook until you see steam escaping from the vessel. This signifies that the meat has been done and so has been the rice. The idea behind this is that the flavor that the meat gives out while it cooks in the form of steam is used to cook the rice and that is what makes Hyderabadi Biryani so special. Switch off the stove once you see the steam appearing and let it sit [in what is called dum] for about 15-20 minutes. I know you can't wait, but you have heard about what things happen to those who wait right? So thodi der intezaar and then carefully remove the lid making sure the escaping steam does not get you.

If you think you are done, then you are very wrong. Another art form takes over - that of mixing the rice with the gosht. You have to be very delicate about it so that the rice grains do not break. Remove, mix, serve, garnish with the left fried onions and serve! Your Hyderabadi Biryani is ready!

I am planning to make this tomorrow or Friday whenever Idd-ul-fitr falls. All of you are invited! Idd Mubarak everyone!

A rant...

2005-09-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

I always hate reading blogs/views that go something like - people who do not think like I do/who do not do the things that I do are missing out on something great or are not doing something right. How can they not think like this? How can they not do this? I am like please give those people [which includes me most of the time] a break! I mean if a person does not have time to stop and smell the roses, the person just doesn't. How come you, who have the time to smell the roses fortunately for you go tsk!tsk! they are missing out on life. Well, maybe, just maybe they are missing out on life coz they have some other very important things to do than smelling roses. Who are you to decide that that somehow makes the person shallow from inside? Or makes them doing something wrong? Who are you to judge that person? Do you even know that person you just generalized into 'I cannot understand how they can/cannot do that' and damned them effectively with how fresh the rose felt, how wonderful you feel and how they can never feel that. Well good for you that you felt so wonderful but tell me what is the need to point fingers at the person who does not/cannot or maybe even will not do that. I do not have problems with people writing how unqiue they are, their experiences are but I feel so uncomfortable when they thrash mere mortals like us in the process. Just read a blog that went something like what are the parents who do not give their children some unique name thinking? Hullo! Even goes on to say that it tells of how much care is going into the child. Double Hello! Well am glad you have the time/energy/intelligence to think of unique names for your child but hey why trash the parents who do not do so. Maybe they do not have the same outlook as you do. Instead you go on to question their very love for the child? Gimme a break! Maybe they are just think of more important things like how to take care of an infant and so on and so forth.

Another blog I read had this person who goes to work on her bicycle or something and instead of just describing the joy she feels, the things she notices etc, she wonders how people who drive in cars can ever feel such things. I am like hullo there again! Good for you that your work is so near you could bike and also have the time to do it. Some of us live so far away from work, if we started bicycling we'd reach the next week! And some of us simply do not have the time or the energy to do it. Does that make you somehow superior to them? If not, what are you trying to say? Why the need to drag hapless people who do not bike to work in and trash them?

I wish people would stick to their experiences instead of wondering about other people's whom they have no clue whatsoever about. To each his own. To you your own! To me, my own!

Dramatic Changes!

2005-09-08T12:10:00.000-07:00

I see myself undergoing certain changes in me. Not subtle at all. Infact quite dramatic. I think in a span of about a year, my character has thrown up quite a few surprises for myself. While on one hand some situations made me feel that I was still the same as I was a decade ago, some others made me go whoa! this is not who I am! Yesterday something happened that has me thinking drastically on the lines of - ohmigod! I am changing...but is the change good? I don't know. I can see that I am becoming more cynical. While the same kind of situation at one time might have invoked nothing more than oh! well or even maybe a slight smile, this time around I was livid! Worse still, I expressed the exasperation. But what is the most surprising thing is that I did not feel bad about it. Not one bit. Infact felt pretty good about it. Then a nagging feeling came over as to whether I was too harsh. Well, it vanished in a few minutes and once again I was feeling pretty good about myself. That I was not her for anyone to say things for effect or to invoke some kind of inappropriate reaction from me.

Till about yesterday I could not have imagined myself doing it. when I told DH he was surprised too but very pleasantly so. But I am sure he has also been observing the changes in me when no longer do I not express an opinion on a situation/person when I know that it could upset him. But I don't hold back anymore. I think we have reached a stage in our relationship where we know exactly where the other person is coming from. That there is no malice, no hidden things. Maybe that might be the reason. But whatever it is, I am more open about my feelings about people/situations around me with him. I have a long way to go still, but I am on my way. Once again I do not know if that is the right path. I have always categorized myself as a diplomatic person who would rather move away from the path of confrontation than take it head-on. But these days, I seem to be veering towards the path that I do not normally take. I do not know about other people involved, but I for one am feeling good about it.

A couple of months ago, a friend whom I always used to consider my bestest friend ever, let me down big time. Like countless other times where I have just let it go. But not this time. Something inside me snapped. From that day to this day not once have I felt the same about this friend as I used to. I have just tossed him out of my life. Whooosh! and gone kind of thing. While I would call him every single week irrespective of how many months it was since he called me, it has been about thrice that he has called me and I haven't dialled his number once. He even asked me what was wrong and without batting an eye-lid I replied, I don't feel the same about you anymore. I could imagine the hurt, but once again instead of feeling bad about it, I was elated that I could do it. Right now I feel like it is one less crappy thing to worry about in life and I am surprised with myself bigtime.

I used to be such an emotional person who could forgive any number of mistakes where friends/family were concerned. Though I still retain the same kinda feeling for my closest family members, it is not so with others anymore. I am not ready to take any nonsense, is my attitude these days. Once again, I wonder if that is a good thing. While at one time I was the go-to person to all the friends in my group, the one who made efforts to be in touch with everyone, now I just don't life one finger to be in touch! And what more, I don't miss them, nor do I think about them.

I once wrote a blog about a friend of mine with whom the relationship just did not exist anymore. I remember being so surprised with myself and not feeling too good about it. In the state of mind that I find myself in right now, I am surprised I cared so much for a person who could be so selfish. That I could even feel a trace of guilt about distancing myself from the friendship. Maybe that was a pre-cursor to the changes I see in myself.

Another 'area' where I find myself changing is having an opinion on things. While earlier I'd have opinions too, they would not be very strong. They would be easily influenced by the people around me. I had this penchant of being able to see everything from the other person's point of view. Though I still do retain that quality I do not neccasarily force myself to understand the view point anymore. I see it for what it is. Good, bad, ugly or plain stupid. Earlier it was a sacrilege to even think that this person in front of me could have stupid or selfish views. But not anymore. At least inside me, I call a spade a spade. No more, let me try to understand it from his/her point of view. There is nothing to understand about stupidity, nor selfishness. Some people are born like that. I accept that but what I cannot accept is passing that off as some sort of virtue. I have not come to the point [and sincerely hope I do not] where I can point out to a person, the comment that they are making for what it is. Right now I just tell myself..how stupid is that!

I realize that sometimes our elders, the people we respect a lot, the people we love and care about and just about anybody can say something, have views so out of this world that you are left gaping. But maybe maturing is what this is all about. About realizing that everyone is human, no matter how high you think of them , everyone is going is make mistakes. Not everyone is a saint and you don't treat everyone like they are. Treat them like humans, look at their mistakes, look beyond and move on. And learn from them. Change yourself constantly to, might not neccasarily be the best person, but be true to yourself, your feelings and your views! Not let them be influenced by external forces that should not be influencing them in the first place. That your views are your own, that you lead your own life, that you are what you are!

A couple of good films

2005-09-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

Rarely do I watch a film in its entirety at one go. I do not even remember which the last one I watched was without getting up to do something or the other. Let me see now. I had wanted to watch Black without any distractions. It took me 3 days spanning over 2 weeks to accomplish that. But this week was different. I watched, not one, but two films at one go. One a Hindi film and the other an english one. The hollywood flicks are easier to manage because of their length but I was looking forward to watch a meaningful hindi film that would make me watch it without getting up in between thinking whatta complete waste of time. I thought David Dhawan's Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya starring me one time favorite Salman Khan would do the trick. After 10 mins of watching it I could see how insipid the characters. Yes much more insipid then the one's from other of his films. We have this dumb bimbette [Katrina Kaif] who wants to commit suicide at every single turn in her life and the brawny even dumber dim-wit Khan brothers who keep trying to save her. Ugh! I thought the graph would get better with me current favorite 'actor' [move over Aamir] - Arshad Warsi. Though his presence itself exudes a warmth, sadly Arshad Warsi had nothing much to do in the movie. I watched a couple of scenes hoping he'd get some scope but no! By the time Katrina makes her 3rd attempt at suicide [not even 15 minutes into the movie] I was out there and came back to catch what must be one of the lamest ending in Hindi Movies. After swearing undying love and practically begging Katrina to marry her, Salman rushes after Sushmita [someone pls tell me why she acts in such dumb movies?] as last resort. Was entertained a little with Arshad Warsi giving him company. Kept trying to catch his one-liners which were pretty good. Or maybe he made them good ;-) Anyways so this Looser Khan is at the feet of another woman in a matter of minutes. Begging her to stay. Though he is candid about the fact that he is there only coz his lady love left him! So after the usual quota of overflowing tears and irritating characters making their appearances in the most grotesque ways imaginable and pleading/prodding and torturing the viewer, everyone is one big happy family. Till the end I hoped to see Sushmita ditch Looser Khan and walk away with his friend. Who wouldn't with a friend like Arshad Warsi? *sigh* [though he is 2 feet shorter than her ;-) ]

Why this sudden obsession with a comedian you ask? Hold on. Hold on! Arshad Warsi is perhaps the best comedian we have out there, but to label him as just a comedian would be blasphemy. And what better film to prove that then 'Sehar'! I could not move as I watched that movie. Right from the first reel to the absolute thrilling climax - it kept me glued. Well I would not say it is a great film, but undoubtedly it is one of the most realistic films I have watched in a while. I somehow do not like gangster movies [though Vaastav was an exception to the rule]. One might think that Sehar is also one such movie but it is not. It is a cop movie. The cops taking on the mighty gangsters. It is so realistically done, that I would agree with the general concept that a lot of research must have gone into the making of this movie which deals with the growth of mafia in UP and how the police force there tackles the menace. No dishum-dishums. Just the bang-bang of pistols which are used to kill and kill swiftly. No huge dramatic scenes that are built up just to fizzle in the end. The action is prompt and before you realize what is happening the operation is complete!

Though the film tends to get detail oriented and thereby loose some pace, but I for one loved the details given. Especially the tapping of cell-phones plot. Boy! Was that superbly done! The cops and the criminals trying to match wits was very deftly portrayed. The characters were very well developed. Loved the relationship portrayed between Arshad and his mom. For the first time I guess, the mom is portrayed as being much more well-read and perhaps even stronger than her son! A welcome change to the clueless but well meaning mothers in some of our films :-) Also, Pankaj Kapur's character. He essays it so well. Just one expression in the whole film and he manages to convey a gamut of emotions with that one expression. The only change is when he breaks down in the climax. The expression is intact though! Arshad Warsi's superior officers role [I do not know the name] essayed by one of the most talented TV actors of our time, Inspector Solanki etc - very well etched out characters!

I wish I could say the same about the female lead - Mahima though! She just peeps in enough for us to go, ohmigod! she looks stunning and for Arshad Warsi to blush before she vanishes again. But I would beg to differ from some reviews which say that this track does not lend itself to the story. That it could be done away with. That it does not gel with the role of SSP Ajay Kumar that Arshad essays. How come? Are super-intelligent, super-action oriented super cops supposed to be just that? Can't they blush when a beautiful woman crosses their path? Can't they think of her when their superior is making a point? After all isn't it what falling in love all about. That you think about this person always. Shaam ho Ya Sehar ho, dil mein tum har pehar ho! That is what Arshad feels as Adnan Sami [sounding just a little bit better, very little though] hums a beautiful and the only song of the movie in the background! I for one thought the romantic track in the film was a very much needed relief not to mention it was oh! cho-chweet watching Arshad blushing like a new bride and squirming like an idiot, everytime she crosses his path. Very classily done track. Giving this movie 3.5 stars out of 5. And Arshad 11/10 ;-)

He is so so so so good in this movie. So ordinarily extra-ordinary. Not once do you see him in any designer clothes..very very casually dressed with a pair of jeans and a faded t-shirt and his hair arranged in the simplest of styles. Yet he manages to convey the intelligence of the SSP through his expressions, deductions and so many other simple things. The best part of course is that he remains human all through - does not morph into this lecture-giving, righteous super cop who bashes up every villian in his path. He does bash the villian up. By coming up with the extra-ordinary idea of a Special Task Force. He strikes when the iron is hot, when the CM is reeling under an attack to his childhood buddy. His suggestion is lapped up. Loyal police officers offer him the support and he is onto his task in a flash. There is no drama, no trace of fear shown as he tries to console Mahima who receives a threat call oh his behalf with a casual - yeh sab tho hotha rehta hain! No tears, just pain as he leaves his mother for his biggest operation and no lingering or looking deep into the eyes of the heroine as she hugs him in front of his deputies. Just restrained emotion. Even in the end! Am I glad we have another 'huge' actor amidst us! Hurray!

The other movie I watched, based on the recommendation of a good friend was 'Before Sunset'. Apparently it is sequel to 'After Sunrise'. Now I wish I had watched the earlier one before watching this - but oh! well. Neways watched this movie late into the night. My 14 year old niece refused stubbornly to go to sleep even though I warned her that this might be not her kind of movie. 10 minutes into the movie she had dropped off to sleep. The reason? Well - unlike other love stories, this was the story of two lovers, who though they meet only for one night of their lives, manage to carry the passion for 9 years before they meet again and talk about it. Yes just talk about it. In a cafe, in the cobbled streets of Paris, in a ferry, in a car and finally in an apartment. All they do is talk, talk, talk! But oh! how well they do it. The range of subjects they touch upon as they race against time [he has to catch a flight in a few hourts] while trying not to let the moment go without making the most of it. The initial embarassment to see other, not knowing how exactly to proceed and watching as things unfold, as they get comfortable to the extent of letting each other in into the deep, dark lives they have found themselves in. There are so many moments in the conversation that you find yourself lamenting with the what-ifs had they met like they had planned to all those years ago. Feeling sorry for them, feeling hopeful for them as they linger on and on trying desperately to get out of each other and time whatever they could! Ah! The poignancy of the situation. I am a sucker for such type of scenarios and boy was it well done! It was so real that had a hard time thinking that this was a movie and I was not eavesdropping into a very private conversation. Even if I did, it was worth every word spoken! A very well made movie, that gets down to the basics away from all the madness!!

Next movie on list. Clifford's really big day! Credit to Lil A. But I think I shall pass for now and spare you guys :-p

Lil A's first day of school!

2005-08-24T09:17:00.000-07:00

It was Lil A's first day at school today. The thing with her is that she does not want to wake up as soon as she is awake. She wants to lounge around a bit and then finally wakes up after we get into a wrestling match with me pulling away the comforter from her. It was no different today. I woke her up as soon as the alarm went off knowing that it would be another half hour before she would get out of bed. I showered and dressed and gave her a shout again.

"Mamma...A thodi der sona chaahre" she said pulling the comforter all over. She was fully awake now I realized and started to play with her. After about 10-15 minutes she was out of bed, running around trying to dodge my attempts to get her into the bathroom.

Finally after 10 more minutes we were going into her room to dress her up in the clothes we had picked the night before. Lil A is so fussy about her clothes, its unbelievable.

"yeh nai hona, woh nai hona, yeh loose hain, woh tight hain, yeh neeche thak hain, iske sleeves bhoth lambe hain, yeh pant yaan thak aari, yeh match nai hora, woh circle waala kaan hain, laundry mein kyon daale, yeh jeans nai hona, aapke jaise kapde hona, skirt pen sakte aaj, yeh raat ke kapde hain, yeh bhoth ganda hain, woh kyon nai pen sakte..." its an endless rant. So after about half an hour of picking up clothes we had decided on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. I thought the battle was won. I was wrong. As soon as she wore the jeans, turned out it was just a wee-bit, very littlest of littles loose at the waist.

"Belt lagaaiye..." she said.
"isku loops nai hain A, belt nai lagaa sakte" I said.
"yeh loose hain mamma.." she wailed.
"A zyaada loose nai hain. Kuch bhi nai hotha..." I tried keeping an eye on the watch.
She wasn't satisfied and stood morosely.
"accha theek hain, isku thoda mod deenge..achcha?" I compromised turning the jeans slightly at the waist.
She still was not satisfied.
"aur ek baar modo mamma..." she said fidgeting.
Well it was her first day at school and I did not want her uncomfortable, so I said...
"Theek hain A...doosra pehen lo" and pulled out another one from her closet.
"yeh blue jeans nai hain.." she wailed.
"yeh mamma ke jaisa hain na A..pehen lo" I said and thankfully she complied.
"mamma yeh bhoth lamba hain.." she complained again.
"joote pehen liye tho theek ho jaata A..." I said.
Again she had that dissatisfied look on her face.
Again I gave in.
Finally she was happy with those cream carpenter pants which had huge pockets like the one her 'baba' wears.
Finally we were ready..woo hoo hoo!

Not so fast, not so fast. There were still the socks/shoes to be decided. She wanted to wear slip-ons. I wanted her to wear her princess shoes and socks. After a brief argument she agreed. She wanted to wear blue socks. I wanted her to wear white socks.
"blue achcha hain mamma.." she said.
"blue ispe match nai hotha A..." I said knowing fully well I was digging myself into a hole for the next time when I will be unable to find a matching pair of socks for her.
She looked thoughtfully at the two pairs and decided that for once her mamma was right and took the white socks. First victory of the day for me :-)

She ate her cereal fast, stuffed her back pack with an extra pair of clothes, made some fuss regarding wearing her white canvas shoes instead of the ligthed ones and agreed when I told her that other children were gonna have lights in their shoes and she was not going to and finally we were out of the door.

One thing about A is that after all the fuss she makes, she tries to make up for it by being a nice girl. All the way to the school she kept telling me -
"mamma A nayee school ku jaate. A ku bhoth pasand. Waan A ke friends rehte. Waan A padhte, likhte, masti karte. A mamma ki baat sun lete. A ku bhook lagi tho teacher ku bolte. A ka juice rakhe kya mamma?"
"hau A rakhe..."
"A ku abeech hona..."
"Nai A..ab nai. School mein peena.."
"please mamma"
"tum phir mamma ki baat nai sunre..."
"oh! sorry mamma. A school mein pete. Ab nai pete. Mamma ki baat sunte..." The darling! Though she forgets her promises in an instant.
But at least she wants to make me happy at that tender age and more so understands what it is that is going to make me happy. Wish she understood though that actions though speak louder than words ;-)

Anyways we were at school which was bustle of activity. Since this is a private school for people of our community she was happy to see that everyone was conversing in urdu - her language. The teacher introduced her to another girl of her age and she was lost. No clinging to mamma like the way she used to at the American Day Care centre I used to leave her. When I lingered to say good-bye as she was intently playing with her new friend, she brushed me off with an
"achcha..achcha...khuda hafiz!"

I could not be happier.

Rules for a happy marriage...

2005-08-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

Got these rules for a happy marriage from my husband's cousin who has been married for a long time. I could not resist...

If you have to criticize, do it lovingly - yeah right! criticize lovingly indeed? do both the words even go together? :-p

If one of you has to win an argument,let it be the other one - now if I am getting into an argument it is not to let the other person win now would I? Why would I even get into an argument if the goal is to let the other person win!

Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. - So what do you do if it is not settled? Not sleep! Yeah right! and add to the woes! or worse still keep arguing and arguing with exhaustion kicking in till you pass out?

Never yell at each other, unless the house is on fire. - Oh! Thank you for the grace event! What is a relationship without a good yell from time to time!!

Admit when you are wrong, and ask for forgiveness. - ok this starts out difficult and gets harder :-(

It takes two make a quarrel, the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking. - Ahem! So are we saying the woman is always wrong? Ok ok PJ maybe, but the talking part is almost always done by the person who is more communicative. So are we saying that one should not communicate well...?

Neglect the whole world rather than each other. - Now that is a downer if there was one. Neglect the world maane..neglect everything? Isn't that sure shot recipe for disaster? Just paying attention to each other and nothing else. Claustrophobic nai? I wonder how many of us would be tearing out hair out in frustration if we cannot ignore our better halves from time to time.

Say one kind thing to your partner daily. - Just one? :-p and won't the partner catch on to the err..charity?

Never bring up mistakes from the past. - Hullo? How is that even possible? So let him/her go scott free just coz the mistake was in the past? Fat chance....

Never be angry at the same time. - Is this even achievable? Sometimes maybe...but it is human to get angry when someone is being angry with you. I think I would get angry if I am all angry and flustered and the person who it is directed against is cool as a cucumber!!

I personally feel there are no specific rules to make a marriage work. True, it requires hard work but rules don't make it successful. The persons involved do!

A special city

2005-05-04T10:14:00.000-07:00

OK I am back to writing about my Hyderabad Trip. Long due nai? One fine Saturday I logged in late to DB. I found tocsin there because a match was on. We got talking and inevitably the discussion turned to Hyderabad. I was wondering what it was about Hyderabad that every Hyderabadi seems to be so attached to it. To that he said something, I do not remember the exact words but the sentiment was that there is just something special about it. Something that binds us inexorably towards it. I tend to agree with him. It would be foolish pride saying it if I said that Hyderbad is the greatest city in the world. But to me it is. Because it is the most special place in the world to me.

My husband observed that this time around he seemed to less of Hyderabadi's and more of non-Hyderabadi's in it. That is true indeed. There are so many people coming over from Gujarat and many other states that true-blue Hyderabadi aabadi [population] seems to be dwindling! When I mentioned to Dad about it he says where do you think the prosperity is coming to the city from? Do you think the Hyderabadi'd have so much money. So it is a good thing that this seems to be happening. I am for anything that is for the good of the city. I questioned Silo about what it felt like considering she is actually a Punjabi. She told me something about it feeling like home for her and how much she loved it. So you see the I-love-Hyderabad-more-than-my-life syndrome is not limited to the Hyderabadi's alone. Didn't I tell you there is something special about it? Its magic!

Another special thing about Hyderabad is of course the food. But it is with regret that I have to inform everyone that the Hyderabadi Biryani available almost every 0.012 miles is not what it used to be. Gone is the authentic taste. You'd be lucky if you get something that can even come close. But since many of the patrons are non-hyderabadi's these joints do brisk business. Also, even the non-authentic-Hyderabadi biryani is miles ahead of any other biryani! Biryani brings to mind the experience I had when I ate it @ Shaadab in the heart of Charminar. I had been doing so well till then and I ate there and bus! for the first time in my life I developed some kind of allergy. My eyes were all red and puffed up and my hands itched non-stop. This lasted for 3-4 days. Everyone was teasing me that I must've ate Kawwa-Biryani instead of the Chicken-Biryani. There is a joke that goes around that there is always the threat that some business to cut some bucks would sell kawwwa biryani as Chicken! I don't know but I remember seeing crows in cages ready to be sold in Charminar. So *gulp* and don't say I didn't warn ya about eating Biryani in Charminar!

As regarding the restaurant scene, I am not sure about other cities, but here in Hyderabad they seem to be mushrooming everywhere. The ambience in some of these restaurants is to be seen to be believed. While we did not dine out as much as we would have liked to, it was enough to get a general feel of things. We went to Ohri's for dinner once around 8 pm and surprisingly the place was almost empty. The prices were out of this world and I thought maybe it was the reason why there did not seem to much rush. Boy! Was I wrong. Living here I had gotten used to the timings around here of dinner time around 7 pm. In Hyderabad dinner time does not happen until after 9. That is when the place started to fill in and by 9:30 there was a long line of people waiting to be seated. When I commented that the people were having a late dinner I was told of the Midnight Biryani which is only available after 12 and how there is a big crowd for it!

The food did not seem that great to me but it was decent. We trooped over for desert downstairs. Have-More was the name I think. Again I was going ohmigod @ the sparkling place. The tiles, the spotless walls, the bright lights, the glass exterior...it was just amazing. The ice-creams were out of the world too. I love eating ice-cream with fruit salad. I have never been able to find one decent place here which does that. Tears are springing up in me eyes just thinking about that night!

The one person who enjoyed the most there was ofcourse Li'l A. It might have seemed to her that she was set free after being under house arrest for almost 6 months. She made the most of it. The area around Necklace road has been developed and is like heaven for children. Li'l A enjoyed umpteen camel rides, pony rides, merry-go-rounds etc. She saw for the first time what a mogra ka garland looks like, she ate corn on the cob..there were so many things. Things that came naturally to us but which are special to her. I think she also enjoyed the fact that everyone spoke her language! I am proud to say [as you might already know] that Li'l A speaks like a hyderabadi albeit with a little accent that she has picked up here. Even that accent was getting wiped off when we were there! The highlight of her trip was the 2 visits we made to the zoo. I am going to dedicate a complete blog on that one.

While the picture I have painted till now is very rosy-cosy there were some unpleasant things too. I still remember one scene clearly as I was going to visit a relative in an auto. A burkha-clad woman carrying her fully grown son in her arms. He seemed to be a paraplegic and she was so matter-of-factly carrying him and walking. I was stunned that even to this day this is what some people have to do to get disabled people outside. Tells me that there is still a lot of things to be done.

Also, the beggars. There are so many of them! Not one second passes when your vehicle stops at the red light and there are like a dozen of them gheraoing you from eveyr direction. My dad told me that it is big business now and that the beggars even have areas designated to them where they are supposed to beg. It was horrific to realize that the children were being put up to the same thing. With a pitifiul expression they would approach and when Dad would say something to the elder as to why they are pushing their children into it, the expression would become menacing! That's when I realized with a shock that this was an industry in itself. The horrific thing though is that there are stories that some of these children are maimed so that they might have more success while begging!

Another thing that had me thinking was while we were in Apollo Hospital. One of the more expensive hospitals in the city. While I was waiting with my dad there, there was this about 35 year old man who was working at a feverish pace. He asked us to wait in Telugu and Dad got talking to him since my dad can speak telugu so well you cannot tell he is from Hyderabad. After a few questions where in he said he was on the administrative side and that he had done his M.Com my dad asked him how much he made. I was shocked and wanted to disapper from there. Isn't there somewhere something about not asking a woman her age and a man his salary! Nonchalantly the man answers.."Maaku 5 warku istaarandi..". I was stunned as to what the 5 meant in there. '5 vela?' My dad asked and he nodded. 5000 Rupees? 5000 Rupees a month! The reason for my shock had shifted. 6 days a week this man works and it seemed like he was working without a breather and he gets a meagre 5000 Rupees. And he has a master's in his field. He looked old enough to have a family and kids. I was left wondering and wonder even now how he must manage making that kind of money considering how high the cost of living has become. Now I know how my dad knows almost everything about what there is to know!

I seemed to have shattered the rosy image with those 3 incidents so I shall talk no more about them. One thing I missed having in Hyderabad were friends. So many of them I used to have. Like almost in every galli. I did not even want to go into the college campus I used to study at because things had changed so much there and I did not want to look at the change. I remember the sprawling campus. It was like a forest preserve with old buildings. Now the same campus houses like 5-6 different colleges. So you can imagine how many building must have come up. So I just watched the college go by while going past and...ok I do not want to get into that. So as I was saying not one friend from those days remained. I was missing that sorely. So when I came to know that Silent Melody was from Hyderabad and that Ananth and IBL were going to come and meet us you could well imagine my delight.

(..to be continued :-P)

Rahul, No, Hyderabad is Waiting!

2005-04-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

So what else did I do other than watching cricket Matches? A lot actually. I watched the Ads too. I have been a big fan of advertisements back home. Washing Powder Nirma, Washing Powder Nirma was the first ever I think. My brother was saying how Nirma was like bleaching powder in the form of a soap. No wonder doodh ki safaai Nirma se laayee!

Before that I need to write a little bit on how pathetic Doordarshan is even after all this time. Believe me I am not exaggerating when I say that not one ball I could watch without some sort of flicker in the screen where it would pause, go blank, go nuts - it was horrible. Even now I can feel the bile rising as I type this. Get this. The batsman would lift the ball high in the air. You had no way of knowing whether it went for a six or someone caught it. Sometimes the identity of the batsman would give a clue [like if it is Ganguly - for sure someone would catch it!] but you would want to know right? Very very pathetic performance doing the live telecast I should say! Also the number of advertisements. My brother [yeah yeah he is the source of a lot of info for me] told me that ICC had threatened to cancel the match if the telecast rights fight was not sorted out. That big is TV that even a series as huge as this can be threatened to be cancelled!

And the ads are like falling over themselves to come on. Its like the producer or director or whoever is waiting with his finger on the knob as soon as the bowler delivers the last ball of the over. The shot is not even fully executed that we see the switch. And then the sponsors. Pepsi was the one for the first test match and everytime the telecast switched to ads, this blue screen would come up for a second saying View your pepsi khufiya card here. It was sooooooooooooooooo horrible! And then one cricketer after another would come up wearing or in the process of wearing a helmet giving the public message - wear a condom everytime! I was ROTFL every single time. I think SRK features in the most ads followed by the cricketers. They are everywhere. Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar competing for the top slot. Sachin looks the same confused self as he used to with his squeaky voice. So the advertisers have come up with a novel idea. Don't let him say anything. Just paint his face in weird colors and ask him to make all sorts of strange noises. I was ROTFL yet again. As for Dravid. There were huge hoardings of him everywhere in Hyderabad. In various poses. "Rahul's waiting" was the tag line. If I have even seen dignity in a hoarding this must be it. Hooo boy! Even in the ads. If this man goes to captain India we might have another Tiger in the making. Tipping me non-existent hat to Rahul. To think he is waiting!

So where was I? Yes at the fact that DD still sucks. Sucks bad. Get this. Kumble gets the last man out and it is victory time. I am waiting there with bated breath, having watched an Indian Test Victory after ages, teary eyed and all emotional and what happens? First DD freezes the frame. Then the 'Oye Bubbbbleee' [another story] freeze frame comes up. Then we have the public service AIDS awareness messages, then SRK..can it get worse you ask? Yes we have Ganguly dressed up like a warrior taking on Inzamam dressed as one too. Err no offense but looking at their respective physiques it would look like we would have Ganguly-pulp in no time at all. So anyways they finally get back to the celebrations which shows our cricketers walking out of the field in a group carrying Kumble. This was I was ROTFCrying! So DD manages to torture me once again after all these years!

OK no more cricket and no more DD. After all Hyderabad is waiting! The good thing about going to India is the shopping which can also prove to be a very bad thing because almost everyone in the family has a huge list of things to bring back from there. We were shopping for almost 4 families and so we started the process early. 2nd day back and I was already doing the rounds of Charminar/Patther Gatti. Going to Hyderabad is like a piligrimage and going to Charminar is like the core of that piligrimage. If you want to see Hyderabad in all its vitality..in all its splendor...then this is the place. Life throbs here. In the faces of the children who come up to you with an expectant look 'Naada lelo'. Look out before you feel sorry for them! They are waiting to fleece you of everything that you have. Once as soon as we got out of the Auto this young boy who must be around 12 approaches is with this roll of naada [the rope that is used to hold a Pyjama up]. 'Bees (20) Rupaiyya Saab' he says. The auto-wallah looks up with 'kya bolra re? 8 Rupaiyya ka honga saab'. The boy freezes. Gives the auto-wallah a glare. Gives him an even bigger gaali [censored] and get this takes the roll out of my husband's hand and goes off with a haughty expression. Priceless!

Charminar is of course charminar because of the imposing monument there. When Ananth saw it first he exclaimed that it was bigger than he realized. Yes, its pretty huge. But I was disappointed with it this time around though. Last time almost 2 years back when I had seen it, it was newly restored. Everything glistened and it was as good as new. This time around, it had fallen back on looking a trifle jaded. Come on yaar give it a break its more than 400 years old after all. A beautiful structure in what was the centre of the city at that time. Its 4 arches facing 4 major streets. My daughter was really excited on seeing it and kept insisting that she wants to climb it. Yeah that was all that we needed in the 35 degree-C heat. A climb up the imposing structure. I don't thinking climbing to the top is even allowed. I think one could go only uptil the point where the minarets start soaring! I remember when I was very young and much more energetic climbing it with my father. Soon some numbskulls decided that it was a good place to kill themselves and start jumping out and so the ascent to the top was closed to the general public. void/ascii commented on DB yesterday that Lake Shore Drive tends to get boring in 1/2 visits respectively. I agree with them. I would recommend going to Charminar for them. Never a boring moment. Even if it is your 100th visit! More on that part of the city later.

Another thing that were not as good as my last visit were the roads. With Naidu gone this was to be expected I guess. My brother told me that as soon as YSR took charge amongst the first few things he did was a. to abolish the Formula one track and b. take away 50 crores from the MCH [Municipal Corp of Hyderabad] budget. The CM seems to be doing pretty well for himself. Once he paid a surprise visit to the Nizam General Hospital. One auto-wallah [my husband has this penchant for picking up conversations with them] told us as he manouvered expertly between two huge city buses that going to that hospital one would get worse. Heard it from a couple of other people too that the public hospital has become a disgrace. YSR's visit highlighted the same and he pulled up the staff. I just hope that it is not just one of those PR stunts and something is actually done about it. YSR looks so non-descript. As long as he does a good job and hopefully extend the prosperity the city is seeing to the interior parts! Naidu on the other hand is behaving like a spoilt brat whose piece of candy has been taken away. Creating a ruckus in the assembly over minor things, giving petitions upon petitions to the governor! hoo boy! There was this one photo of his in the Deccan Chronicle, that had me rubbing my eyes in disbelief. The governor is looking on with a bored expression as Naidu stands like a peon wanting to get the signature of his boss. No one would believe it that he was once hailed as the next PM. Also read this very funny anectode about him. After his tenure as CM, he was valued at some X crores. Before that he was valued at some Y crores. Y crores being considerably less than the X crores. On being questioned he says - the difference is the gift given to me by my Father-in-Law! Yeah right! After all you were his favorite son-in-law! Politics! Uff!

(...to be continued)

A Vacation to my homeland

2005-03-31T14:40:00.000-08:00

A space heater hums under my desk giving much needed relief. My cube is situated in a location where the celing runs to the second floor. Its pretty impressive when I look up but trust anything that looks good to have its downside. The problem is as follows. Since we are in a huge area, the heating has to be really up to warm things around us. But if the heating in increased then the people who are in the first and second floor with normal ceilings would get burned to cinder. So, the bottom line is that it gets really cold around me. Today has been particularly bad bringing memories of winter. In stark contrast not a week ago I was sitting in Hyderabad feeling the heat around me. For the umpteenth time telling me that I'd have melted to nothingness if Abba had not installed an air-conditioner at the last moment. I vaguely recalled telling Ammi not to bother when she informed me of Abba's plans. I had lived in the searing heat for more than 2/3rds of my life. Distinctly remember driving/walking in the May heat. Fasting even. So early March was not going to terrify me. No sir. Ha! Was I wrong! In the beginning it wasn't so bad. But in the latter weeks, it got really bad. I felt like there was a furnace was burning all around me and I had to take repeated dips in the AC room to keep myself from not turning to toast. I marvelled at this change in me. The only change I might add. The pollution did not affect me, the crowds didn't, the traffic did not [though almost all the auto-wallah's gave me a heart-attack]. Just the heat. The searing heat. The heat. The heat I am seeking right now. Ironic isn't it?

Hyderabad. My city. My Ammi's city. My Abba's city. A city of Nawabs. Of The Nizams. Of The Jah's. Of the Shah's. All together giving it a distinct identity. An identity I can call my own. An identify I want to retain for as long as I live. Hyderabadi. That's what I want to be called. Just the name of the city of my lips sounds soo soo good. So many of its lanes holding so many memories. Its parks. Its lakes. Its monuments. Its lights. Its langugage. Its tehzeeb. Its grandeur. Its sheer vibrancy. Truly, I can never have enough of this city. I long to go back there. Live a life there instead of just visiting it once in 2 years for a few weeks. Living in Hyderabad I wasn't half in love with the city as I am living away from it. But then that is how human nature is. Ghar ki mughi daal baraabar as a popular saying goes in Hyderabad.

As we make our way from Begumpet Airport early morning, I try to take as much of the city as I possibly can. Huge malls, specialty stores, restaurants come into view. I for one am all for the prosperity that the city is gearing towards. Bring it on I say. Enough with the laid back attitude and getting things done parsoon[which can last anywhere from 1- infinite number of days]. When everyone is moving forward we cannot be just sitting at one place counting out days of glory! Days that have been long past leaving a few monuments and jewels in museums in their wake. We hit the familiar Road No.1. A road I took 4 years of my life while trying to lay a foundation for my life.

The first year was harrowing. Did not even realize that when you said computer it did not mean the screen you were looking at! And to program it in not one but 3 languages![Fortran,Pascal,COBOL]. And all the while I had thought that Latin and Greek were the difficult languages. There was this one guy in our class. You know those "required" smart-a** types. He had enrolled himself into some computer institute and was pretty conversant with what a computer was. And knew some tricks to get it to listen to him. Now he flaunted this knowledge in the class. Some not so flaunting ones but one's who had taken similar courses joined in and made most of us feel like we were lower than the one-celled creature I had been so thankful I did not have to draw anymore. Many of us got together and considered moving to the ECE batch where we would not have to go through this humiliation. Yes! These were the sort of things that go in my mind whenever we take Road No.1 [considering making a movie script out of it and selling it to David Dhawan!].

When I had embarked on my vacation, I had grand plans that I would carry a small notebook with me always and keep jotting down my thoughts and feelings which would then make for a grand blog. Needless to say that did not happen and that is the reason for your current suffering. But I noted one para though. It was as I watched Inzamam drive a Kumble bowled bar to the boundary. The first innings he had struggled against Kumble and in the second he was playing beautifully. Inzamam. I had hated Imran Khan every time he had compared Inzamam to Sachin. How could he? I would scream. I would absolutely hate Inzamam when he would walk as if hit on the leg by a Malcolm Marshall delivery when he'd get out. Hardly walking at all. First of all, all our bowlers would have to get this mountain man out and then he would walk as if a great injustice had been meted out to him. No matter if his stump had just been uprooted. He'd still do that! Get out of there fast so we can win the match fast instead of snatching defeat from the jaws of vicotry as we were prone to do, would be my argument.

I chuckled when he did the same all these years later when he was adjudged leg before to Kumble. He does not want to leave when he gets bowled so can you imagine how slow he must've walked when he was given LBW! So anyways I noted a para as Inzamam batted to Kumble in the second innings. With much more authority. Here was a man Pakistan has come to depend on big time as far as its batting was concerned. I never thought he would one day lead the Pak team going by his body language which suggests a man big on brawn and on the opposite site in the brain dept. But I would have to admit that Inzamam has single handedly given Pakistan so many victories. The world cup even when he paid back his dues in the form of his captain's faith in him. I compare that to Sachin. No doubt, Sachin's the better batsman, the record-getter but I have yet to see a match where Sachin leads India to a victory, leave alone a world cup. Though still think Imran Khan exaggerated when he compared Inzamam to Sachin.

So again I come back to Kumble delivering ball after ball to Inzamam and Inzamam hitting it all over the field. Just when I think that he's won the battle Kumble flummoxes him and he is trapped LBW. I get to see the dreaded walk all over again! The match itself ended in a tame draw because Pakistani's batted like heroes. It was clear they did not want to loose the match. Staring at a loss by innings defeat Younis Khan [if my memory serves me right] and Asif Kamal steered them clear of danger. The match was drawn with news papers screaming that the Pakistani batsmen had not only drawn the match but won it. I recalled how I had felt when India had crashed out of the Reliance world cup. Beaten by England in the Semi's I think. I remember the silence that had overtook the room. No one spoke a word. The TV which had been making such a ruckus was shut off. My brother's went out to play as I stood at the window, staring blankly outside. Could not believe what had just happened. It amazes me how much effect cricket used to have on us. Classes bunked, convenient lying to parents about everything being studied for the exam, getting up at 3 am to watch matches from Australia, tuning and tuning the radio to a cricket match in West Indies which was not being telecast and erupting with joy when Kapil Dev hit 4 consecutive sixes as India needed 24 runs to avoid a follow-on and were 9 down with Hirwani at the other end. Boy! Was I lucky to catch some matches and that too India against Pak this time around.

Happy that once again I can identify most of the Indian cricketers. Happy that I could watch Pathan, Balaji bowl. Happy to see Sehwag make mince-meat of the Paki attack. Happy to see Dravid's world class batting and dignity. Unhappy to see Sachin struggle so badly and our non-playing captain make some 30 odd runs in the entire series! Happy to have watched a flawless innings from Inzamam in his 100th test match. Happy to have watched India win in the second test. Just happy to be in a country which loves cricket!

(...to be continued)

20/20 Answers

2005-02-14T15:06:00.000-08:00

1.Jeene ka shauk hai agar tho marne ko ho ja tayyar! - I am surprised that not many got this one. A high-profile movie from a high-profile director who used to give big hits believe it or not with a high-profile hero who gives hits to this day believe it or not! This one is from Pardes. The song goes – Ho gaya hain mujhe pyaar. I live how it opens up Nai hona tha, arey nai hona tha, nai hona tha, nai hona tha lekin ho gaya…ho gaya hain mujhe pyaar. Somehow the concept of falling in love against all odds never ceases to capture my interest. This line sums up the songs beautifully. Have heard phrases like if you want to die then fall in love…but here it is more subtle. First love is equated to living and then a direct get ready to die. Delicious.

2. Jis tarah aap chaahe nazar aaon main, mujhko har rang mein aazmaa lee jiye! – Many of you got this one. When the music of ‘Phir Teri Kahaani yaad aayee’ was released, it was heavily promoted on Zee TV (was it?). Everyone was excited. A major film by a major director starring decent enought actors being debuted on TV - the concept was mindblowing. The music was out of this world. The expectations were high? As is very usual with Bollywood, the movie turned out to be a damp squib. Also the one million and one ads did not help matters that much either. The songs still manage to linger. Still manage to haunt. There is a touch of melancholy associated with each one of them. Though 'Tere Dar par sanam chale aaye' is often said to be the best of the lot [and I don't disagree] this song was also a gem. 'Shaayarana si hain zindagi ki sada' sings a drunk Neena Gupta with a 'aap bhi zindagi ka maza leejiye' as Pooja and Rahul watch. Then Pooja takes up the cudgels and croons this line. Conveying how much she is in love and to what extent she is willing to go for it. Touching!

3. Woh tera kothe pe nange paaon aana yaad hain! - This ghazal has got to be one of the all-time bests. I have heard Ghulam Ali doing many renditions of it and it never fails to capture me. It was used in 'Nikah' as a backdrop for the repentant man drinking and thinking about his ex-wife. Not the best kind of picturization I had in mind. The flash-backs do infuse some life but the absolutely wooden expression of Pankaj Parasher did not help matters either. Would have loved to see someone who could act with his eyes [like maybe Sanjeev Kumar or Aamir Khan or even Amitabh Bachan] to be doing the drinking. Ah! 'Chupke Chupke raat din..aansoo bahaana yaad hain! Hum ko ab tak aashiqui ka woh zamaana yaad hain! . Kya baat hain! How wonderfully aashiqui is co-related with tears. The magic of subtletly in urdu sher-o-shaayri. Ok don't get me started ;-)

4. Tumhe toot ke chaaha tha, nafrat bhi karen tho kaise karen! - I have a whole blog dedicated to this one. Ab naam Mohabbat ke from Ghulam

5. Main tehri rahi, zameen chalne lagi! - I was at a stage when I would not pay much attention to the music of SRK starrers. Dunno why. I think I could not bear the thought of him crying/romancing for the umpteenth time. So I put everything to do with him in the ignore list. This was one such song too until I happened to pay attention to it. I realized the loss had been mine as far as this song was concerned. Loved how it starts off with a dabi dabi 'aaa...' and then gains momentum and then slows down again with a violin in the background as Sonu Nigam picks it up 'Suraj hua madhyam..Chaand jalne laga...aasmaan yeh hain kyon pighalne laga'Beautiful lines. Especially the question at the end - Kya yeh mera pehla pehla pyaar hain? What I love about this particular line is that the singers manage to convey the feeling of being static when she/he says Main tehri rahi and then the music gains momentum to denote chalne lagi! Awesome. The only redeeming factor of a movie called Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum. Kabhi Ghum? Yeah right!

6. Tumhare palkon se girke shabnam hamaare aankhon mein ruk gayee hain! - I remember when I was very young watching this song on Chitrahaar. The time when Mithun da could actually looked very good. Tall, dark and passably-handsome. Of course he was either dancing or fighting. But this song was an exception. He is this dignified what looks like a military man escorting a village belle. I have never gotten around to waching 'Ghulami' so please excuse if I am wrong. Everything about this song was perfect. Lata was sooo soo good at this time. Just listen to the beginning. How she croons 'oooo...'. These days she'd be so shrill and out of breath, it'd be a torture. But here she is perfect. The opening is 'Zihaal-e-miskeen mukun baranjish..bahaale hijra bechaara dil hain'!. Wanno know what that means? Join the group! This is a lift from a persian poem that goes like this -

Zehal-e miskin makun taghaful, duraye naina banaye batiyan;
ki taab-e hijran nadaram ay jaan, na leho kaahe lagaye chhatiyan.

The translation thanks to google goes something like this:
Do not overlook my misery by blandishing your eyes,
and weaving tales; My patience has over-brimmed,
O sweetheart, why do you not take me to your bosom.

So now you know where it came from. Ok back to the song. We have a tall and lanky Mithun Da who joins this street-side dancer much to the chagrin of his lady love. I love the scene where he realizes that the lady in question is feeling bad and stops dancing and walks over to her. [yes,yes blame the woman to act like a wrench when the man is having some fun!] A sunset in the background. A huge structure. The woman on one side of it..the man climbing the stairs on the other end. There as something about it. Something so striking that it has remained with me even after the last Chitrahaar I watched was over a decade ago! So the lady croons this line when the misunderstanding about who he loves is cleared and she is all smiles and the poor fella is crying now! ;-)

7. Zara sa jhoot bhi dhang se kahaa nahi jaata! - This is one from the newer movies. Rog . A very beautiful song rendered even more beautifully by the very, very talented Udit Narayan. 'Khoobsurat hain woh itna saha nahi jaata'. There are some songs that grow on you. There are some songs that capture you instantly. The very first time that you hear them. This is one such song. Not to mention the lyrics. AWESOME! Take for instance this stanza. Rooh banke miloonga, aasmaan mein kaheen...pyaar is jahaan mein farishton se kiya nahi jaata! Mamma Mia! Wait it gets better! The singer goes on to say that she says that she is not mine and then comes this line. MAMMA MIA!

8. Ay pyaar teri pehli nazar ko salaam! - Most of you got this line. Mainly because this belongs to the mukhda. Yes right from 'Ek duje ke liye'. I loved the pehli nazar in it. How romantic! Sigh!

9. Tere is pyaar pe mere siva haq na kisi ka hain! - A lesser known song from a lesser known movie. 'Aaena hain mera chehra' from Aaena starring Jackie Shroff, Amrita Singh and Juhi Chawla. This song had the absolutely gorgeous Juhi Chawla making clear to her sister, ex-fiancee of her current husband that she [Juhi] is the rightful owner of this man's love.[uff]. There is this meek girl who turns into a tigress when her world is threatened. Loved the feeling that this line conveys. Stay off! or else!

10. Usne chaaha mujhe, usna thukra diya waqt ki baat hain! - I have been trying to get hold of this ghazal for soo long. No luck. Its a real gem of a ghazal. Waqt se waqt ki kya shikayat karoon, waqt hi na raha, waqt ki baat hain sung very beautifully by Pankaj Udhas. Udhas used to sing some wonderful melancholic ghazals early in his career. 'Deewaron se milkar rona...' or 'Aye ghame zindagi kuch tho mushvara..' or one of his innumerable peena - pilaana routines. Dunno what happened after that...somehow he got into frothy numbers and then he developed this irritating habit of trying to sing sweetly. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I had given up completely on him when I heard this gem. Beautifully conveys how time has spoilt everything. Love, life..time itself!

11. Na jaane kyon dil bhar gaya, na jaane kyon aankh bhar gayee! - Ijaazat is one movie that had everything going for it. The story, the cast, the music, the lyrics - everything! All the songs of this movie are A+ class. choti si kahaani se..baarishon ke paani se..saari vaadi bhar gayee... croons Asha Bhonsle. Love the way her voice is used as a background to the song too! Sometimes you feel like this nai. You don't know why but tears well up! How beautifully this line sums it up. Gulzaar saab...Salaam!

12. Koi aata nahi hain phir marke! - I have never watched 'Bazar' [I know tocs..sorry] fully. Just caught it in bits and parts. Love the Naseer-Smitha Patil track. Love against all odds! Somebody please tell me if this track is pictured on them. This song caught my fancy as I listened to it for the first time when I had landed here. Dunno why - na jaane kyon dil bhar gaya! Dekhlo aaj humko jee bhar ke...koi aata nahin hain phir marke! Amazing! Simply amazing!

13. Bewajah tareef karna aapki aadat tho nahin! - Many of you got this one too. Ghar had some really good music. A very bold theme too. A house-wife getting gang raped and how everything that her husband does later looks like he is pointing fingers at her. Mighty interesting even though I had watched it when I was very, very young. Aapki aankhon mein kuch mehke hue se khwaab hain..aap se bhi khoobsurat aapke andaaz hain! goes Vinod Mehra to which a bewitchingly beautiful Rekha[sari, loose plait, kaajal, shiny lipshtick look] has to say this. Wonderfully conveys the playfulness and love between a newly wedded couple.

14. Kaunsa yeh bandhan hain, yah kaunsa apnapan hain! - Feroze Khan! What an ear he has for good music. His earlier movies had some kick-ass stuff[as ssm would say]. 'Dharmatma' had such good songs. One masterpiece after another. As if that was not enough there is JaanBaaz with some foot-tappingly beautiful numbers. This was one of the slower ones. Jab jab teri surat dekhoon pyaar sa dil mein jaage...teri taraf hi dil mujhe kheeche..kya tu mera laage? I absolutely love songs where the mukhda ends with a question. This is a background song with Anil and Dimple making eyes at each other. My! Was Dimple beautiful!! Also used to adore Anil at that time. A wonderful, wonderful actor. He was so young but could convey so much with those itsy eyes of his! This film also had such great numbers like 'Pyaar Do Pyaar Lo' and 'Har Kisi ko nahin milta...'. WOW!

15. Din bhi yahaan tho lage baras ke samaan! - Again a very well known number. Humein tumse pyaar kitna yeh hum nahin jaante, magar ji nahin sakte tumhaare bina . It almost always features in a Kishore Kapoor collection. Very well sung. One of his slow numbers. The better ones too! Love the way the song leads to this stanza. 'Suna ghum judaai ka uthaate hain log. Jaane zindagi kaise bitaate hain log...din bhi yahaan tho lage baras ke samaan!'. How sweet! All I have to say to the fella is - jab juda ho tho jaano ki jeena tho padta hain! Mar tho nahin jaa sakte. Very unromantic I know ;-) but that's the truth.

16. Nainon me kal os giri thi! - One of the lesser known numbers. Jagjit Singh sings to his own music in Leela once again a movie with a bold theme- in love with an elder woman. Haven't seen the movie so cannot comment but loved the music. Very soft and intense ghazals. Jaag ke kaati saari raina...nainon me kal os giri thi.. goes a more bass voice of Jagjit Singh as he makes an effort not to sound very errr Jajit Singhy! Loved the concept of dew drops in eyes - another word for the plain aansooo!Also conveying the fact that the eyes didn't sleep all night so subtly. That they managed to catch the dew-drops which from early in the morning! Ah!

17. Ishq me uff yeh khud hi se ladna, ek saza hain seene mein! - Huge Brownie points to Silent Melody for getting this one! How could you people [esp gals] not get this one? An absolutely divine good-enough-to-eat John Abraham conveying the pathos of being away from his loved one. Awaaarapan, Banjarapan..ek khalaa hain seene mein he goes in Jism and there is os in my eyes! Beautiful slow beat...a subdued voice of ????....Once again love the way the song leads to this stanza - Dil jis cheez ko na kehta hain, zeheh usi ko kehta hain haan...ishq mein uff ye khud hi se ladna ek sazaa hain seene mein! How wonderfully the conflict between the heart and the mind is put forward. Too good yaar!

18. Jis chaman mein tere pag mein kaante chube,
us chaman se hamein phool chun-na nahin! - An older number from Kati Patang where a romantic Rajesh Kapoor tries to convey his love for a widowed Asha Parekh as she tries her best not to pay attention to him. The singer is Mukesh. Though Mukesh was limited to slow moving numbers, man was he good at it! I can almost feel the tears in his eyes as he hums this line! He is that good. I also love the line following it - haan yeh rasme yeh kasme sabhi todke, tu chali aa chunar pyaar ki odke. Saying I care a damn about all the ways of this world! Exquisite! Jis gali mein tera ghar na ho baalma, us gali se hamein guzarna nahin!

19. Buth hum ko kahen kaafir, Allah ki marzi hain! - Ok this one is from no movie. Just belongs to the collection of Ghulam Ali ghazals that have managed to make a permanent place in my heart. Hungaama hain kyon barpa thodi si jo peeli hain!. Rebellious lyrics are sooo soo good. Mocking at the ways of the world while trying best to stick to them. Mirza Ghalib was so good at it. He would drink wine [which is a taboo in islam] and say - Masjid mein may peene de wais, ya aisi jagah dikha jahaan khuda na ho! Kinda showing you know which finger to the finger-pointers. This is none such ghazal. After counting the ways he has angered God, he comes to this stanza where he says that idols [another no-no in islam] are addressing him as the infidel and it is all to do with God's will! LOL! Very good shaayar saab - get the point!!

20. Yeh kya ghazab yaar hain? Sajna yahi pyaar hain! - OK taking a fall here. Just one of those lines from one of those songs. A good one though. Aashique mujhe aashique tune banaaya jaane jaana! says Bobby Deol to Karisma in guess the name of the movie? Aashique. So he asks the girls what the **ck is this? and she goes...sajna yahi pyaar hain!

And the winner is - Reshmi. The prize is...umm...errr...a wish for whatever you want me to write next [not much eh?]....Also the special mention for Silent Melody. [clap,clap].

Lines..

2005-02-10T14:49:00.000-08:00

1. Jeene ka shauk hai agar tho marne ko ho ja tayyar!

2. Jis tarah aap chaahe nazar aaon main, mujhko har rang mein aazmaa lee jiye!

3. Woh tera kothe pe nange paaon aana yaad hain!

4. Tumhe toot ke chaaha tha, nafrat bhi karen tho kaise karen!

5. Main tehri rahi, zameen chalne lagi!

6. Tumhare palkon se girke shabnam hamaare aankhon mein ruk gayee hain!

7. Zara sa jhoot bhi dhang se kahaa nahi jaata!

8. Ay pyaar teri pehli nazar ko salaam!

9. Tere is pyaar pe mere siva haq na kisi ka hain!

10. Usne chaaha mujhe, usna thukra diya waqt ki baat hain!

11. Na jaane kyon dil bhar gaya, na jaane kyon aankh bhar gayee!

12. Koi aata nahi hain phir marke!

13. Bewajah tareef karna aapki aadat tho nahin!

14. Kaunsa yeh bandhan hain, yah kaunsa apnapan hain!

15. Din bhi yahaan tho lage baras ke samaan!

16. Nainon me kal os giri thi!

17. Ishq me uff yeh khud hi se ladna, ek saza hain seene mein!

18. Jis chaman mein tere pathh mein kaante chube,
us chaman se hamein phool lena nahin!

19. Buth hum ko kahen kaafir, Allah ki marzi hain!

20. Yeh kya ghazab yaar hain? Sajna yahi pyaar hain!

A love story - A real one this time!!

2005-02-09T13:01:00.001-08:00

Date: Feb 7th 2005
Event: Reading a blog on Sulekha.
Line Read: In Response to the blog posted on February 6th...

February 6th...February 6th? A very familiar date. What was it? What was it? No birthday's of anyone I knew in Feb so what was it? That's when it hit me. The most significant day of my life. 6 years ago. As decked in all bridal finery I had said 'Qubool Hain' to the Qazi's question.

6 years.

"But Z___ Aunty why don't you get married on Valentine's day?" my to-be-niece had asked me.

I had laughed it away. I wanted to tell her. I just want to get married to her maamu. Does not matter which date!

From Z___ Aunty I went to being her Chote Maami. For 6 years now.

Holding hands - We have stayed apart from each other for almost 5 years in this period. Meeting on weekends that is. Every single weekend without fail. Was that in any way could be responsible for how we feel towards each other? That the both of us are already missing each other as we hold hands when I drop him off at the airport. Then comes Thursday and we are like small kids unable to contain the excitement. Holding hands all the way back home. Holding hands through it all!

All these years of marriage has thrown up some facts for me. The foremost being that once you are married, everything that happens to you happens jointly. It has an effect on the both of you. There is no more, I can deal with this thing going on. The other person is involved/affected whether you like it or not. Another thing is that you could never be as comfortable or as close to a person as you are to your spouse. Not your parents, not your siblings, not your children and not your friends. No wonder marriage is given such importance. It deserves it. It can so easily make or break a person. A good marriage can have such positive influence on your life. You could pay more attention to things that interest you rather than paying all your attention in getting the marriage to work or fuming over it. I think one should work as much as possible to make a marriage work, but if it does not, then better get out of it. No sense in staying and killing everything inside you in the bargain. Better to be single and have a chance at some sort of peace rather than be married and never be happy about it. But to be married and to be happy and in love at the same time[with the same person too ;-)] - nothing can beat it!

My husband remains the most important thing in my life. Everything else revolves around him. The first one I call when I am down or on top of the world. The first one I communicate my successes or failures to. The first one I call to crib about how unfair life is or how wonderful it is. There was once a time when we had fought and were not on pally-pally terms with each other. The same day I received a Bravo Award which is like an appreciation award each month. I did not enjoy one moment of it because I could not call him. Could not share it with him. After coming back from the ceremony I decided I was being stupid and mailed him the good news. His one word reply was Congrats. I smiled. I knew his heart was swelling with pride and he was very, very happy and it must have taken a monumental effort on his part not to put that out. But I could sense it. Sometimes words are not needed. Not even a look. Feelings are enough.

Another thing I have learnt in the course of my innings is that you need to compromise. Compromise on a lot of things. In the beginning this seems very hard, but as time passes, it becomes second nature. Also, the person appreciates your compromise and becomes more understanding and sensitive about it. There have been things that I have said to myself I will never be able to understand. But I have. Same goes for him. He has understood. The result? I try to be better at some things, he tries not to do things that he knows will get on my nerves. As for things that cannot be changed, well why the effort when they obviously cannot be changed? So we let them be. Working around them. Working despite them. Who benefits? He, me, our marriage, our children, our familes...not a bad deal is it?

I had heard people saying we need our space before I was married and wondering what it was all about. Why would you need space from a person you are madly in love with? Wouldn't you want to be with them always? The answer is No. Have you ever heard of the saying Too much of a good thing is bad. I swear by it. It is very important to pursue things that are close to heart and not just spend your entire time mooning over the person you love. I feel that no relationship can sustain that. Giving space and time for the other person to breathe as important as breathing itself. Time for friends, for family, for interests etc. It never fails to rejuvenate a relationship.

Opposites attract is a term coined for love. I do not know if I agree with that. If there are too many things that are different then things become harder. There has to be some common ground. Something that the both of you enjoy. Even an episode of the 70s show would do. I have been lucky in the regard that many of our things match. Right from the way we think to the way we approach problems to the kind of movies we enjoy. True, he can never understand my taste for Sad Movies but at the same time both of us can laugh together at Govinda's antics. Remember when we used to live in OH all by ourselves we would go watch a Hindi Movie every weekend. More than the movie we'd enjoy watching the desi's and rating couples. No prizes for guessing who was rated topmost!!

Last but not the least comes laughter. Luckily he has a sense of humor that is legendary. He can make you laugh in any kind of situation. That is one reason I can never stay mad at him. 15 minutes into it and I'll be laughing my guts off as he would say to me, just tell me why you are trying so hard not to laugh! It is very difficult to stay mad at a person who could make you laugh. There have been so many times when we'd be in the middle of a disagreement and one of us would burst out laughing over something and would keep saying - I know I am laughing, but I am serious. Both of us are laughing now!

I realize that though we have come a long way there are numerous challenges ahead. Bringing up kids, finances, family tensions, dreams, situations - a lot of things that could test the strength of our relationship. Marriage is not something that you work hard on and then sit back and enjoy. You need to keep working on it. Maybe not as hard but still work on it. I look at things before me and looking at the things behind me and looking at who is standing next to me I know one thing is going to take us through it all, God willing. Love.

Republic Day

2005-01-27T11:04:00.000-08:00

It is republic day tomorrow. Oh! No..the Principal would want me to say something again. What was it that I said last year? Could not even remember and to top it all dad was away on one of his trips. Where would I get information from to talk about the day? To be popular had its share of drawbacks. I remember the first day of school here. A game of 'langdi' was organized. Being from an ul-uloom school in Hyderabad where 'langdi' amongst the girls during lunch time and during PT was like a religion almost and being a little taller than everyone else in the class, I had an unfair advantage over everybody else. The principal was suitably impressed and I was tucked away into his favorites category. Though I had been inititally caught in the euphoria it was during some special event days like these when it would suck. I'd be called out of the blue to say something. It would not be different tomorrow. Again I came back to the question on hand where would I get some information about this particular day. How I wished there'd be something that I could open, type the words in and then woooosh! it would bring me all sorts of sources I could read from. Wishful thinking? Maybe not. Maybe there could be a place where we could keep all the data in the world and when somebody asks for something, maybe we could look for it there and show them everything relating to their question. I was very proud of my idea. At least it was better than my brother's who was wasting precious paper drawing diagrams of a car that would run on sunlight or some such source. Fat chance of that happening! Huh! Even if it did manage to run, what'd one do at night?

I looked at the clock. 8:00. OK time to watch 'I love Lucy'. Republic day would have to wait. 8:30. Ah! That was quite funny. The way Lucy managed to trip and fall almost everything was a delight to watch. I looked at the clock again. Dumb thing had a date going alongwith the time. 25th January it said. What was the need to have a date in there. Aren't clocks supposed to show you just the times. All this fancy stuff seems to be getting on my nerves. What next? Watches with cameras built in? Maybe a phone even? Heck! Maybe a movie camera even. What was the world coming to? My brothers were already snoring. My legs still ached from all the cycling and the running around we had been doing. Not to mention the Ice-pice. Whatever does that mean? Wonder if it is I-spies. That makes more sense anyways. And then watching the grown-ups play shuttle-cock, running around trying to be the first to retrieve the cock. What a weird name to call the thing! Wonder what else they would dream up to use that word for. Anyways so the date on the clock-piece brought me back to reaity. It was going to be 26th Jan tomorrow. What was I going to do? My eyes were drooping. Well, I shall think about it tomorrow.

Got up earlier than usual the next day. Normally it would take ammi short of a few whacks on the head to get me out of bed. But today was a holiday. Ofcourse we'd to go to school for the flag hoisting ceremony but there was no need to carry that bad of books that weighed more than a ton I am sure. How I wish there was some sort of electronic notebook where we could put all our work in and forget about it instead of lugging all these notebooks around. That we could actually do our homework without writing on reams upon reams of paper. Like we could type in some stuff and it could then magically appear on a paper and you are done with it. Ammi had already laid out the starched all-white uniform that we normally would wear on half-day saturdays. By the time Saigal's song was being played on the Ceylon Radio I was all ready. Two well-oiled tight plaits tied with a ribbon and then curved up to form a loop. A blue belt going around my waist. White keds washed and polished the day before almost shining. I looked in the mirror and decided I looked very smart. My brothers did not want to go. They wanted to stay back home and continue their game of cricket. What is it with cricket and these guys? I wonder what the popularity is all about? India wins a world cup a couple of years ago and to follow and play it is almost like a religion. I am sure with the amount of enthusiasm it has generated we shall be winning the world cup every single time. So I trudged out alone to school.

Everyone was dressed in their whites. Everyone had washed their keds the day before and the day was bright. All of us were trying to put our opinions in whether the wind was enought to have a good flag hoisting. It breaks one's spirit to be all enthusiastic and with a salute watching the flag being hoisted up only to see it falling limply by the side. Not a good sight at all. Not a very good sight at all!. Soon the assembly was called to order and the chief guest who was the principal conservator of forests was unfurling the flag. The flag did manage to create a few ripples but then fell back limply. We tried hard not to look at it. Chocolates were distributes. Speeches were given and then came the moment I was dreading for almost a week. The principal calling out to me with an indulgent smile on his lips. I had done a very good job at the last independence day courtesy my dad. But he was not here and I was in a big soup. I walked up trying to remember as much as I could about the day.
"Respected Chief Guest, Principal, Teacher and my fellow students. A very good morning to you. We are gathered here to celebrate a very important day for our country - The Republic Day. This is the day on which India became a republic. A republic means that we are independent. We gained our independence from the opressive rule of the British on August 15th 1947. Jawahar Lal Nehru was the first prime minister. Every independence day the Prime Minister hoists the Indian Flag at Red Fort...." and so it continued. All about the independence day my dad had coached me about!

All my heroes!

2005-01-24T14:19:00.000-08:00

Chiranjeevi - Yes! I have to admit he was my first ever idol. The macho-macho man who could dance like a dream, who had a real hair insteaf of all those elaborate wigs all those telegu heroes used to sport and whose moustache actually used to look good. Who could fight without the help of stunt men and who could actually act. That was Chiranjeevi for me. The first movie I watched of his on TV, I was totally hooked. I don't remember the movie but he plays the part of a hired husband. The hindi version was done by Sanjeev Kumar. I was not even in my teenage then and this man managed to appeal to me. I could clearly see that he had great things in him and he had. He went on to become arguably the biggest Telugu film hero ever. I have lost all touch with tollywood but whenever Chiranjeevi's name is mentioned, my heart goes aflutter!

Amitabh Bachan - Watching some of his movies when he was the angry young man, I find myself gaping at this awesome man. Tall and lanky and dismissed off as being too tall to be a hero, the style that Amitabh exudes is unmatched. The way he walks, runs, dances and fights is a joy to behold. I think his hairstyle is fantastic and with those expressive eyes and the deep baritone, it is no wonder to me he is where he is today. The Suave gangster in Don, the jilted lover in Kabhi Kabhi, the ubelievable arrogance in Deewar, the raw anger in Zanjeer, the smouldering passion in Kasme vaade....I could go on and on. Of course you have to discount a lot of films that came up just before he decided to retire for a while. Shahensha, Toofan, Jaadugar - *shudder,shudder*. I sometimes wonder if it is the same dignity personified man of Sholay who looked so wonderful even riding a buffalo in the movie who was prancing with all those sparkly coats and stuff in Jaadugar. But then the transformation. Into his most stylish avatar ever. The post Kaun Banega Crorepati era! I never thought I'd watch a 60-something man with such adoration. Ah! Amitabh!

Aamir Khan - I remember watching QSQT and almost falling down to the ground with a thud. Who was this refreshing new kid on the block. The choclaty face, the hairless chest, the lying with a straight face to his father, the coming-from-the-heart laughter and most of all the romantic and intense personality. I was in love for the first time in my life. I watched a movie more than once for the first time in my life too. Mamma mia, I was hooked. Every nuance of his in the movie is still etched in my memory. Yes, I did cry for the first and last time in a Hindi Movie when he dies in Juhi's arms. He went from strength to strength. Arguably the best actor in Bollywood today, I do not agree with his exclusivity. One picture in 3 years? come on, we fans deserve more than that. In Sarfarosh, the way he comes on the screen as a collector in a scene is one of the most powerful scenes I have witnessed. Ordinary movies become good because he is the performer in them. When you are watching an Aamir Khan film you could be sure of one thing - quality. (Mela is to be discounted). Even in an otherwise boring Mann, he manages to evoke strong feelings. You could feel his hurt permeating through his body and I stil mantain that the climax of the movie has Aamir at his best. Not a big fan of Lagaan, but if any movie deserves to go to an Oscar, it is one starring Aamir. No doubt about it. Comedy (Andaz Apna Apna, Dil Chaahta Hain) or Tragedy, he is undoubtedly the best we have out there!

Salman Khan - Salman came on the scene around the same time Aamir did. I was still bowled over by QSST when there were murmurs that another heart-throb had burst on the scene. I was curious and a little apprehensive that he might dethrone me Aamir Khan. I watched Maine Pyaar Kiya and was ROFL. No way! This man did not know how to act and was one of those too-thin-trying to be macho types. No way he could last. Surprisingly he did. Movie after movie went on to become a hit. Almost 5 of his movies in succession were hits. Baaghi (where he wears a bikini..ewwww!), Sanam Bewafa etc etc. I just could not see anything in the man. Then I watched Love in a theater where Salman plays the part of a traumatized man who kills his father. The role demanded emotion and sensitivity. Salman's eyes did the acting and I was mesmerized. How vulnerable the man looked! The angry + vulnerable Salman Khan just captured my heart. To this day, I like him for the senstivity he displays and of course the best body in the business. Not too muscular, but just there...not too much brawn but just there! He is a joy to watch. I wish he'd go easy on the shedding clothes business though. I was beet-root red when he danced without his shirts in 'Pyaar kiya tho darna kya'. But yes, I could not take my eyes off him! He does have a flair for comedy even outshining the great Aamir Khan with his spontaneity in Andaz Apna Apna. But give him some emotional scenes and it seems like he thinks that just opening his eyes wide is enough!

Sanjay Dutt - Had never been a big fan of Sanju Baba in his hey days. Thought he looked like a reech (bear). Even Saajan, I had difficulty sitting through in his parts and was booing the loudest when Madhuri walks over to him in the climax. But something about Sanju changed as time went on. When he came on the screen you could not look anywhere else but at him. The powerful screen presence was hard to ignore. Also he worked continously on his acting skills. The result a very hard hitting performance in Vaastav. That is when I started to take Sanju seriously. The best thing about him is that you dress him up in a Pathan Suit or a Suit or a Jodhpuri, he looks good enough to ogle at. Though Bhai roles suit him to a T, he does have good flair for comedy as in Munna Bhai MBBS. Here's for Sanju Baba for being the survivor that he is!

Hrithik Roshan - Well I will not gush much about Hrithik except saying that he looks and dances like a dream. The twinkle in his eye and the honesty in his smile is what I like most about him. He seems like a genueinely warm person. I was watching him interact with the contestants of 'India's Best' and he was so amazingly natural with them. No airs, no touch-me-not postures. Just a regular guy. I think his performance in Koi Mil Gaya was really great and I think one of the best scenes is when he surprised Preity by taking her in his arms and saying something like he is not so innocent anymore and has learnt a few things. Hot! But he has a tendency to go overboard sometimes. One of the few actors who is better at emotional scenes rather than comedy ones. And his dances? WOW! is the word.

Arshad Warsi - Surprised? I am not. Right from his first movie..forget the name...an ABCL production, Arshad Warsi held so much promise. He could emote well, dance well and could do comedy really, really well. That has stayed put. He is such a natural that I think that he should be way,way up there. Watching him in Waisa Bhi Hotha hain, you could see the sincerity in him. I heard that he was hailed as the replacement for Govinda. Though I have the utmost respect for Govinda, I think Arshad Warsi is a class apart. In Munna Bhai MBBS you had to just look at him and the next moment you'd find yourself laughing! Memorable performance. I think if Hulchul went on to figure anywhere it was because of this one man. His comedy scenes were a riot. Special mention for the pot of gum! The most hilarious scene in recent memory. I could not imagine anyone doing it as well as Warsi did. I am going to watch out for him.

Om Puri - Om Puri remains the critic in me choice. There is no question about his talent be it be serious roles or comic ones. But somehow I prefer his comedy. Watch him in Chachi 420! The way he tries to follow Kamal Hassan is one of the most enjoyable scenes. He hides behind two huge pots and then somebody moves them. The way he tries to cover up had me in splits. He does not say anything and you are out there almost dying of laughter! Truly a great artiste, I think he was the best amongst the lot in Hera Pheri. The scene that comes to mind is where he encounters the three guys he is looking for in Helmets and says - Oh! Judwa ho! A comic genius!

That's about it for now....

Ananth and Chameli - The conclusion

2005-01-20T16:35:00.000-08:00

Damn it! There was a static on the line. So much for the techno-geeks of DSS who had helped with the set-up. Not 2m away and there was static. The ladies cursed almost all the men on DSS and tried to listen with everything they had. But no the thing would not budge. Funny tried her best tinkering with the instrument but it did not let out a beep.

"I am going to kill void" dmx declared.
"Relax dmx. Look at the maha bright side" Resh said.
"What bright side?" peppy tut-tutted.
"ssssh! You are gonna blow the cover" I said.
"This is maha-funny" Resh said.
"Will you puh-leaze get over the Bangalore hangover? *sheesh*" I said.
"I just have one question" Sunshine said.
"What is it Sunshine?" everyone asked in chorus.
"Would you guys think it is ok for a girl to be kissing on the first date?" she asked.
Everyone just glared at her.

No one knew what to do. They just sat there staring at each other's faces trying hard not to glance towards where Ananth and Chameli were sitting.

"Hey girls look..."

Ananth and Chameli were done with the dinner and were laughing over something. Everyone watched in silence. Ananth's back was turned to us, so there was no danger of being caught.

They were walking towards the door. Could not make out if they were hand in hand but they were walking real close.

SK almost broke a glass in the excitement. A believer in love conquers all, she was sure Cupid was aiming arrows straight at Ananth's chest.

There was no option for us but to call it a night. We just had to wait for a call from Chameli. It would be too dangerous calling her. What if Ananth was in the vicinity. So we patiently waited. The call did not come. We got more excited as time went on. There were winks, supressed giggles and everything else. We made sure that Sunshine and SK were not privy to such exchanges.

The girls all stood in attention when there was a knock on the door the next day.

Chameli came in. She started telling everyone about all her trials to hook Ananth. She made moves upon moves. The shy look, the twirling of the jasmine flowers in her hair, the not being able to keep pace with him, the soft words - everything. She had thought she had suceeded when he asked her to join him in his room.

Sunshine pretended not to listen. Aditi (Who could not keep away) was smiling. Funny stopped tinkering for a while. SK looked like she was going to break another glass. Resh had a maha-pleased look on her face. dmx could not keep a straight face. Meetu did not know where to look. Peppy tried hard to supress her giggles very unsuccessfully. I was jumping with - I knew it, I knew it until Peppy gave me a sound whack.

Half an hour later all of us were booking return tickets. Mission accomplished you ask? Well you'd have to ask Ananth about that...!

(Mission: Pulling Ananth's leg with some entertainment interspered
Result: Accomplished!)

Ananth and Chameli - Part 1

2005-01-20T08:40:00.000-08:00

We look in awe as she stands in front of us dressed to the T. Ah! Months of working on her seems to have paid off. All of us give a collective sigh. The ladies at DSS who have gotten together to play a trick on the love-dodging Ananth. No doubt it was a lot of hard and painstaking work but the results promised were more than worth it. Chameli was the name given to her. She was debuted on Sulekha first just to make sure everything was fine. She said she needed double of what we promised to pay her considering all the religious fanatics she had to put up with there. After a couple of months of pseudo-bloggin under her name and commenting (read squeals, peals of laughter, sighs etc) we asked her to apply to DSS. Fortunately kakes was in the chakkar too and we had no problem getting her through. Chameli was an official member of DSS and soon we would be all taking turns buckwaasing on her behalf painting a picture of a damsel not in distress but heading there. A nazuk-nazuk kannada speaking damsel. The bangalorean's amonst us (and there were many) took care of that part.

So we look at our creation. A piece of art. Now the time had come to unleash her on the unsuspecting Ananth. She was trained in repartee, wit, charm, walk, talk and everything else. Some of us were happy that we decided on a woman's get together without the DHs in tow. Otherwise we were sure would have had a hard time trying to keep them falling all over themselves and her! This was gonna be fun. Ananth was visiting the US for a month and we were going to unleash this monster on him. So much for his skepticism regarding love and falling in love, the ladies wrinkled their noses.

This was it. There was no going back now. All of the ladies assembled would be in the restauarnt where an unsuspecting Ananth agreed to a dinner date with the Chameli of DSS. Given his passion for meeting online friends, this was easy to arrange. Soon the date was set. A saturday night dinner date at a swank restaurant. Chameli was fully wired and the ladies could hear the conversation crystal clear just a few tables away. They were very excited. Already Ananth had showm some signs that he was definitely attracted to the Chameli character and it would not be long before they would see him eating his own words. With a spoon, as void would say.

The ladies sat on a table that did not throw much light on them. The furious photo-swapping on Sulekha put them in danger of being recognized. Not that Ananth would pay much attention to anything other than the food in his plate. But still, they were not willing to take any chances. So all of them huddled together as Sunshine who had met Ananth for an eventful dinner whispered the dos and dont's for the nth time. The ladies listened in rapt attention. Some were seen rolling their eyes. Suddenly the phone rang. It was Aditi who could not make it because as usual she was visiting her guy on the West Coast. The conversation with pep-p went something like this.

Pep-p: "Ya, ya"
Aditi:........
Pep-p: "ya, ya"
Aditi: .....
Pep-p: "chi,chi"

You get the picture. Chameli was already positioned at the table giving a seductive pose as a tall, lanky figure walked in. The unmistakable presence of Ananth came into view. The ladies huddled closer. In true Ananth ishtyle he did not even glance in any other direction except his goals ie. Chameli's table. She got up to greet him and extended her hand.

"Namaste" he said folding his hands. The ladies sighed. This was going to be more difficult than they initially thought. But they were not worried. They were positive that with the expert pointers from Ardra and Meena, who knew Ananth personally, there was little chance of going wrong. They waited with bated breath.

(..to be contd)

A hatke ghazal from a hatke poet...

2005-01-05T08:42:00.000-08:00

Many a time I have encountered people who read ghazals, admire them and then say with a sigh "Why oh! Why are Urdu writings always so depressing and sad?" While I agree that a vast majority of ghazals might belong to this category, there are many which do not. I present to you once such ghazal that was penned by Saahir Ludhianvi - a revolutionay urdu poet who went on to write more than 200 songs in Hindi Films. I have a short bio of him following the ghazal but for now let's proceed to the ghazal itself.

What I love about this ghazal is the unapologetic tone of it. The underlying theme in the ghazal seems to be - this is the way I am. If you do not like it, I don't care. That would reflects Saahir ji's personality to the T. Here goes:

Marta Hai Koi Tou Mar Jaye, Hum Apna Nishaana Kyun ChorDrein
Dil Waley Bachaien Dil Apna, Hum Teer Chalaana Kyun ChorDrein

* Nishaana - Target, bachaien - rescue *

A heart-breaker saying this ghazal maybe? Absolutely like the impish tone of this sher. Can imagine someone very beautiful and naughty saying this with a twinkle in her eye. A sher that says, I am not going to change for the world.

Majboor Na Ho Tou Ishq Hi Kya, Maghroor Na Ho Tou Husn Hi Kya
Tum Hum Ko Mannana Kyun ChoorDro, Hum Tum Ko Sataana Kyun ChorDrein

*Majboor - helpless, Maghroor - Proud *

This is one of those innumerable husn/ishq shers that are quite frequent in some bollywood ghazals. Like the second line better. Very nakhre-waali eh? Again the same feel that no matter what I am going to remain the way I am.

Jo Hum Ko Naseehat Kartey Hein, Woh Apna Zamaana Dekh Chukey
Hum Par Bhi Jawaani Aayi Hai, Hum Apna Zamaana Kyun ChorDrein

*Naseehat - Advise *

I like this sher the best amongst the four. How true it rings. The cockiness of youth questioning the experiences of maturity. Something akin to saying, I shall make my own mistakes. Don't you tell me what to do, no matter how experienced you are in these matters.

Duniya Tou Humarey Saamney Hai, Jannat Ka Kya Patta Ho Kay Na Ho
Jannat Mein Chuppi Doulat Kay Liye Duniya Ka Khazaana Kyun ChorDrein

Again the cockiness comes to the fore. Looks like a very practical head on strong shoulders to me. Maybe Sahir ji wrote this when he was very young. Like most shaayars he too writes some really sad stuff. A failed love affair at a very young age, and a teenage that was spent with his mother whom he chose to live with after she seperated from his rich father. Choosing a life of poverty instead of luxuriating as the only son of a rich father. He was a revolutionary poet in the sense that he wrote stuff that poets would keep themselves away from. He routinely wrote about human suffering in the day-to-day world. His work Kahat-e-Bangal(The famine of Bengal) was written when he was only 25 years old. A confirmed atheist he fell in love with a young Amrtia Pritam. There are stories and stories about how intensely they were in love. Some quite Bollywoodish!

Sahir is ofcourse remembered most for all the lyrcis he wrote for Hindi Films. His best known work must be in Pyaasa which is sometimes said to be his biography. There were quite a few gems in the movie as everyone recalls including 'Jinhe Naaz hain Hind par woh Kahaan hain?' Another gem from his collection is 'Tu Hindu Banega na Musalmaan Banega, Insaan ki Aulaad hain, Insaan banega'. There is a very good article on Sahir Ludhianvi on Sulkeha Expressions. Here is the link Poet of Poets

Meaning of the shers:

1. If someone wants to die - let them, why should we stop aiming for
the target,
Those with hearts should keep their hearts safe, why should we
stop shooting arrows.

2. What is love if it is not helpless, what is beauty if it is not
proud,
Why should you stop cajoling us, why should we stop teasing you?

3. Those who give advise today, have already seen what life is,
Youth has come over us, why should we stop seeing our life?

4. The world is right in front of our eyes, who knows if heaven
exists or not,
For some hidden wealth in heaven, why should one leave the
treasure of this world.

A humbling experience...

2004-12-27T15:18:00.000-08:00

Listening to the radio as I drove to work, talk and news about the Tsunamis that rocked Asia and my country. Listening with horror as the talk show hosts talked about a part of the world that was as alien to them as was dear to me. Coastal Andhra Pradesh, where I had spent quite a few years of my life. I remember cleary going out somewhere in the night to watch the waves lash at the rocks as a cyclone brewed somewhere above. The ferociousness of the sea as I had never seen before. Remember being mightily impressed by it. The waves still swirl in my mind. The image of the violent sea. Then I remember the long walk on the Beach, my friend, Sudha and I, as we walked a couple of miles to another friend's house. She wasn't being regular to college, she didn't have a phone, we just had an address - so we walked to her place. Along the seashore. The gentle waves caressing our feet as we walked sandals in hand, talking about everything and nothing at all. The waves had washed something ashore - a huge fish lay dead, its skin a beautiful shade of pink. Its mouth open as it gaped. That is the only thing I remember crystal clear about the entire walk. Then my mind takes me back to a few years more. A small coastal city called Revupolavaram. Our Biology teacher taking us on a picnic there. A beautiful beach as we kids raced to outdo each other in collecting the most beautiful of sea-shells. The fishermen out with their nets, a boat being pushed into the waters, fish-nets being fixed, children running about - a village of fishermen. How many such villages had been wiped out? How many such children had been killed! If only the Indian Ocean had a warning system like the pacific ocean does. That signals tsunamis atleast an hour in advance. How many lives could have been saved, they tut-tutted. Ah! The if-onlys and what could have been. But it wasn't. When we visited LA in Oct last, a huge wave hit us as we scrambled for safety. I still remember the force with which it hit me at my waist. It took me a few minutes to recover. Imagine a 30-40 metre waving coming at you. Hard to imagine. I shuddered. How transient life is. One minute you are walking on the beach and the next minute you are engulfed in the vast ocean. The talk radio switched to other topics but I did not hear what. It could just have been me as I walked on the sea-shore I thought.

Just then the car in front of me swerved to the shoulder. I was right behind him. I think he fell asleep, the shoulder marks woke him and he braked real hard. I watched in horror as his car did a 180-degree turn and headed towards mine. I had the presence of mind not to brake too hard. I slowly applied the brake. The seconds seems like minutes. If I had been just a little closer, he'd have hit me, surely. Instead he swerved into the middle lane, did a 180-degree turn again. Passed in front of my car which had thankfully come to a stop without anyone hitting me from behind, and he managed to get it in control as it came to rest on the shoulder. Time stood still for a second, before the traffic started to move. How lucky he had been. He had been out of control cutting across 2 lanes of traffic on a highway where on a light traffic days the cars were going at a speed > 80 mph. My speedometer had been at 85mph when I had applied the brake. I was kinda proud of myself that I had not panicked when I saw this happen in front of my eyes. That I had had the presence of mind to apply the brake without loosing control of the car. But if I had been a little closer to the car, I'd have had a head-on collision. I did not even want to think of the possibility. A head-on collision at 85 mph! Suddenly I was part of the transiency of life. Here one minute, gone the next. There is no telling what could snatch you away from the comfortable cradle of life and throw you into who knows what.

I just want to take a moment to think about more than 20,000 people who lost their life to something that happened thousands of miles away from where they live. India to Sri Lanka to Thailand to even Malaysia, my heart says a silent prayer for all those souls who fell prey to this fury of nature. It humbles you....

The Chicago Meet

2004-12-20T10:49:00.000-08:00

There were once 4 ladies. Madrasis they would be categorized as according to the Mad Queen. Even Tamil Nadu is not all Madras, a chennaite amongst them would scoff. Once an uncle said the best part of Madras that he visited was Bangalore, she might belong to that category, the bangalorean joked. The vizagite thought it too funny to comment on. We hyderabadi's are unique said the queen of clubs who is sometimes mistook for the queen of hearts. The 'madrassis' all agreed that she indeed is mistook for that and said they were deeply disappointed that this was so. The real queen of hearts you ask? Ah! that title should surely belong to the real madraasi amongst the 4.

They were meeting for the first time but the waiter who waited on them could have been easily knocked down with a feather(not withstanding his generous girth) if he had been given the slightest knowledge of the fact. He behaved as if in his entire waitergiri history he had never chanced to meet anyone like the 4. Surely he hadn't but that didn't excuse him for trying to drive them out like every 5 minutes. Maybe he decided they are having way too much fun and all those sober and sage people might not like it. Dunno what it was but quite funny to see him bringing the bill out like 4 times and each one of us sweetly telling him that we wanted to eat more.

He heaved a sigh of relief when they decided that they could eat all they could though they could talk much more and didn't want to be driven out by the restaurant staff, so they finally broke up after a good 3-4 hours.

"Get up! What are you doing sleeping at 9am?"
"uh! oh hi Adi!"
"Wanna watch Swades?"
"I shall pass!"
"Ok your loss!"
"Na! Its the other way around."
"Get up now.."
"Yes Mam"

3 hours later each one of them was going something like this.

Chicago. Damn. Traffic. Damn. Parking. Damn. Even Saturday? #@#&$!^#!

The out-of-town small towner, the ex-chicagoan turned out to be the one with the brains, knowing and taking all these things in her stride and being the first to arrive in time, on dot. This entitles her to the title - the coolest one.

"Yeah, yeah I am on 90. Will be there in 5 minuts"

30 minutes later looking for a park to place, the sub-urban Chicagoan decided that the next time around it was going to be somewhere sub-urban where she did not have to go around the same block a dozen times to get a place to park. Hoped that when she finlly found it, it was not too close to the fire-hydrant. She quickly pushed away images of her car being towed and walked the two blocks to the restaurant going #$@!#@*& at the beautiful Chicago weather.

Finally after almost being frozen, the door number came into view and she did a jig before walking in. The photo frenzy that took place on DSS when it was in its infancy paid off big time as their eyes met. Ok, ok they were the only two in the waiting lounge, so the photos were not needed, but still. Soon the two went yakity-yakking about a lot things. The major being the absolutely stunnind diamond encrusted in white gold on her finger. Brought back memories of a love-sick ceo researching, buying and bloggin a diamond he brought for his crystal.

The other two were apparently missing. First getting lost. The sub-urbanite snickered. This was too funny. She picks the place and she gets lost. So was right in entitling the title of the coolest one to the out-of-towner. The lost one was entitled to the funniest one. What was funnier was that she was escorting another out-of-towner who is prone to getting lost on the 90. So she had chosen to go to the funniest one thinking she was the coolest one but the supposed coolest one had turned out to be the funniest one. So neways, another half hour later walk-in the two ladies. Not before giving the coolest one to be even more cooler. The sub-urbanite watched in admiration as she gave direction on the cell, go North, turn left, you will hit so-n-so street. Her cell phone was ringing every 2 mins with the news that they were almost there but made it only after another half hour. So an hour later after the meeting time everyone who was supposed to be there was and the hostess thanked her lucky stars that the table she had reserved would finally be used as she led them in.

The lunch turned out to be gala affair. The girls downing tapas as if they were peanuts. One after the other. It was left to the coolest one who had been the only one to be have been been to the restaurant before to do the ordering. There were quite a few scenarios to take care of. There were some pure vegetarians, some who could not eat seafood, some who ate only sea food, some who did not want to eat beef or pork...so it required quite a bit of skill trying to order things everyone could dig into. Another round of applause for the coolest one even if she ordered Olives ;-)

Next it was these 2 in random order. Eat, chatter, eat, chatter, chatter, eat, eat, eat. A lot was said. A lot was exchanged. The quiet one, yeah the rightful queen of hearts, was silent in the beginning (might be wondering what she had landed herself into) but joined in enthusisatically when everyone prodded about her true life love ishtory. The other 3 watched the sparkle in her eye and were happy for her. There was quite a lot of ribbing too. The fiction writer amongst them teased endlessly about the mush in her stories, the funniest one about one Mr.Uber and the coolest one about how everyone was sooo scared of her when she put on the 'I am furious at Mr.Encyclopedis-at-fingertips' act on the previous DSS meet.

A lot of things were touched upon. Almost everything under the sun. Love. Life. College. India. Indiana. and some unmentionable things ;-) About DSSers you ask? Ah! This is what the ladies summarized about the men out there?
"Men? What Men? They are all boys!" was the general consensus.

After 3 hours and a dozen tapas and the most wonderful chocolate desert later, it was time to go.

"I think I will go right to sleep" two of them laughed.
"But I have to drive back" the Chennaite wailed.
"And I have to cook for a visiting aunt" the married one waied.

A few flashes. A few photos. A lot of good memories. The start of another phase of friendship. It was perfect.

The car still stood in the same place. So nothing spoiled the perfection.

The daughter was waiting demanding to know where mamma was gone on a Saturday. To visit friends, the mamma said.

"Mamma aur friends ku jail me bhejdo" she said.

Some clarifications:
The coolest Bangalorean - Adithi (who else?)
The funniest one from vizag who knows chicago downtown but gets lost anyways- Funny
The quiet in the beginnning chennaite - SK
The suburban married with kid chicagoan, nay Hyderabadi - guess! ;-)

Hope that clears things up...err..a little.

Bahadur Shah Zafar

2004-12-07T05:44:00.000-08:00

Before I start on this ghazal, I thought it would be fitting to talk about the last emperor of India - Bahadur Shah Zafar. He was made the commander-in-chief of the Indian Sepoy Mutiny of 1857. Initial victories favored the Indians but the British came back with a vengeance. They destroyed Delhi. Killed civilians indiscriminately as a revenge against British soldiers killed in the mutiny. People starved to death or were killed by the backlash. It was nothing short of genocide. They appointed one Capt. Hodson to imprison the last Mughal emperor. With 50 slaves he went and led Zafar to ultimate humiliation. Banished to a land far,far away from his motherland, a country he once ruled, but more importantly a land he loved dearly. More was to come. Each one of his 10 sons were killed in cold blood. Beheaded and their heads presented to him as trophies by the British whilst serving in some obscure jail in Rangoon with his wife Zeenat Begum. His only grandson killed in a similar manner thus obilerating the mughal dynasty.

No wonder his ghazals have such a melancholic tone. And people say why do shaayars write such depressing stuff? Hey man, if you have gone through what Zafar went through in his life, what else can you write but depressing and philosophical stuff? Amazing stuff nonethless. This ghazal in particular will not fail to bring a lump to the throat if you can just imagine the agony he was put through. I imagine him sitting alone in his cell in an alien land, the only source of light, the slanting sun rays from the ventilator above. At the age of 85+, senile, alone, broken, taking up a pen to write some precious lines, lines which to this day could transport you into that era. An era where 'angrez' ruled over us, tried to break us and how some of us did break under the iron hand, but whose spirit never seemed to even in senility. Zafar, who died 4 years later in captivity and buried in some obscure location. Ironic that his takhallus (pen name), Zafar, means Victory!

Lagtaa nahii hai dil meraa ujRe dayaar meiN
kiss kii banii hai aalame-naapaaidaar meiN

*ujre dayaar - abandoned residence
aalame-naapaidaar - transitory world*

I love the second line. Hum laakh jatan karle (we might make a million attempts) but in the end that is what we live in - a transient world. Each one of us transient! Wow! what a thought!

umr-e-daraaz maaNg ke laaye the chaar din
do aarzuu meiN kaT gaye do intezaar meiN

I know that the last sher of this ghazal is very famous and all but I absolutely love this sher. Note how he says long life of 4 days instead of a short life of 4 days. Only a shaayar can convey so much in 2 lines. Zafar Saahab, wah!

kah do in hasratoN se kahiiN aur jaa baeiN
itnii jagah kahaaN hai dil-e-daaghdaar meiN

*hasrat - desires, dil-e-daaghdaar - a scarred heart *

Ah! Tugging at the heartstrings again. Doesn't that look like a man who has given up every hope in life, who doesn't even want to desire anything, so hurt is he. Is that a tear escaping my eyes?

kitnaa hai badnaseeb zafar dafan ke liye
do gaz zameen bhii naa milii kue-yaar meiN

*badnaseeb - ill fated, dafan - burial, do gaz - 2 yards,
kue-yaar - beloved's land*

The most famous of em all. The most heart rending of em all. The truest of em all. This is one sher that catches you by the scruff of your neck. I identify with it too. Living in a land that I can never love like my own, maybe one day dying in the same land. My husband bought a plot for burial a few months back to help a local masjid out and I was in tears that I just might be buried in this land one fine day. I have no intention to but if God has fated for it to happen, then it will. And that is hard to digest. 2 gaz zameen in kue-yaar is ultimately what I would crave for. If I who has lived about 25 years of my life in my beloved country could crave for it so bad when I have every resource in the world at my feet to do exactly what I want, then imagining what this old man who had spent 83 years of his life in his native land must have gone through. What all of those people who got uprooted from the place they called homes, never to see it again must have gone through. It humbles one to think of something like that. I can just give them all a silent salute. One and all.

*English translation of the ghazal*
1. I am unable to interest myself in this abondoned place I live in,
After all who has been able to make do with this transitoty world.

2. A long-life I asked and got for 4 days,
two were spent in wishing and two in waiting

3.Tell the desries to go somewhere else,
where is the place for them in my scarred heart

4.How ill-fated is Zafar that for his burial,
he could not even secure 2 yards of land in his beloved land.

The art of making 'Mirchi ka Saalan'

2004-12-06T10:37:00.000-08:00

OK the first thing to come to terms with as you start to prepare this dish is not to mind that it might take the whole day. That's because masala dishes like these are best when slowly simmered. So all you who are looking for a quick fix please disperse. This is not for the faint hearted when it comes to cooking. So anyways now that you have a big chunk of the day dedicated to Mirchi Ka Saalan making, let's proceed another step further. Another thing to note is that you should literally have a thick skin. Sometimes the simmering saalan is bound to erupt like a volcano, so don't go suing me if you have burnt spots all over your hands. It would take a skillful chef to escape these lava spouts. So all of you who faint at the sight of blood are politely excuses. The rest of you can follow along.

The next step is the choice of ingredients that go into making this exotic dish. Again no short-cut methods like using ready-made fried onions or stuff. You could use them, but don't blame me if it turns out similar to what dmx cooked up. So pick the freshest onions(ok that's going a bit too far with this thing), just take a bunch of onions. Maybe 4 medium sized ones. Slice them. Now slicing onions is also an art. Especially slicing onions that need to be fried. The thinner the better. But the trick is consistency. If your slices are 1mm in thickness (or is it thinness!) then all of your slices should be somewhere in that vicinity. If you have some that hover around the mm mark and some that go beyong the cm mark, then when you fry the onions, they shan't all be fried to the same crispness. And that my friends is inviting disaster. You will have the thin slices fried to a cinder, while the thicker ones would still look very white. What?? Why the trouble you ask? Why not use the fried onions. OK, ok, just this time. But let me assure you fresh fried onions do make a difference. [Hopes no one catches on that I sometimeis use the ready-made version too when time is scarce].

OK now fry the onions in a lot of oil. Use oil enought to submerge these slices completely. Keep watching like a hawk becase fried onions tend to get over-fried pretty quickly. You should get a very pleasant reddish brown color. Remove the onions from the oil and keep them aside. I am sure you could feel already from the aroma that a very tasty dish is on its way! Now wet grind the fried onions and keep aside.

The next very important step in the process - the selection of the mirchi's, the source of the name of the dish. OK now the faint hearted people can have a seat too. If you like your dishes mild, then go for some mildly hot peppers. If you are one of those who want to feel fire in their mouths, then go for the finger hot peppers. I use Banana Peppers because they are not very hot and they retains their crunchiness. But the main reason is ofcourse because of their good looks. Looks and taste. Cannot beat that eh?

So take a bunch. The one thing to look for is the size. The smaller the better (honest!). This is because whole mirchis look good in this saalan and you wouldn't want a 1-foot mirchi floating around in the bowl. So choose the fresh crunchy small ones. Now comes the difficult part. (yes! just now!). So make a slit in these peppers making sure that you do not cut the stem off. Start 1mm above the bottom and go right upto the stem, but not quite. Then remove the seeds. A word of caution again. After doing this, your hands might feel like they are on fire. So a good idea would be to wear a pair of gloves when you do this. So remove the seeds, wash the peppers and let the water drain. After they are completely dry, heat the oil used in frying the onions. A better idea would be to do this step first before frying the onions. This is because one you fry the onions, it leaves a residue. If you fry some more, then the residue might turn darker and cling to the peppers. So fry the pepppers first. Don't over fry them because they might loose their crunch. Just enough so that everything starts smelling good. Mouth watering already? Good!

Remove the chillies and set them aside. Now comes the part where every single recipe falters majorly. No, I am not berating recipes online or in books. I have myself learnt to cook using these recipes as a crutch. But when it comes to certain Royal dishes like this one or Hyderabadi Biryani, the recipes just don't work. I have had very nasty results when it comes to elaborate dishes like this one. Another one that stumps me is Baingan Ka Bharta. To this day I have some hope left in me somewhere that I could one day cook some bharta that would be eatable. OK to happier things. So what I am trying to say here is that nothing beats mom's recipes. They might not tell you exactly what you need to weigh, a big turn off when you are starting out to cook. Take a fist full or a pinch, she would say. Err, would you mind converting that to tsps or grams I would murmur making a note never to ask her for a recipe again. But after cooking for a while you know exactly what she's saying! I am glad I am finally there after all those years.

So where were we? Yes to the 3 main ingredients that go into making the masala. Til(sesame seeds), Dry Coconut and peanuts. In that order. Til is the base for this saalan. Then comes cocount and then peanuts. So if you take a cup of til, then you should take 1/4th cup of coconut and 1/8th cup peanuts. Got the ratio? Good! Now depending on how much gravy you want, choose the amounts of these ingredients. Just keep the ratio in mind and you should be fine. Roast the til seeds first on medium flame. They should take a golden colour. Keep stirring continously so that they don't burn. The slightest burn and gone is the mirchi ka saalan. Hey I never said it was easy! Now grind it to a very fine paste. Some people like their saalan a tad rough. But me I like the smooth texture. So grind it to the finest paste possible. Now comes the turn of the peanuts. Roast them too and grind them the same way. Wet grind that is. But don't add too much water. Just enough. Now the dry coconut. Be very careful when you roast this. The shredded coconut variety tends to burn very fast. So lower the flame as you roast it. Again proceed as above to make a paste.

Now all the groundwork has been laid. Oops! Forgot one thing. The khatta. Yes it comes from tamarind. Again to your taste. Just make sure the paste is smooth like everything else. OK people now to the cooking part of it. This is where you need to be very careful. (yes! yet again!)

Remeber the oil you had used to fry the peppers and the onions. Ok its the oils turns now. Heat it and put some curry leaves in it. When you could feel the mixture of all these aromas invading your nostrils, add a tbsp each of ginger-garlic paste and fry on low-low flame. After a minute of rapid stirring to make sure it does not burn slowly put all the saaalan pastes in. Til-coconut-peanut-onion. Now cover and simmer on low flame. You have to keep stirring it from time to time to make sure it does not stick to the bottom of the vessel. Take the biggest vessel in the kitchen, which has a thick bottom. Add some red pepper powder and salt according to taste. Now comes the repetitive part. Keep checking and stirring. Checking and stirring. Checking and stirring. You got the picture? Good! By the way this is the time when you need to put your skills as a good dodger to test. The saalan tends to form bubbles that burst without warning, spewing saalan all over the kitchen and worse still managing to catch your eye sometimes. Not a very pleasant experience let me tell you the Saalan in your eye. (ouch, I can still feel the pain!)So be very careful as you stir vigorously to make sure that there is no daagh! Keep doing this till the oil leaves the sides of the dish. Tel Chutna we call in urdu. This is about the time when the saalan gets a rich red color of the chilli powder mixed with the oil. Simmer the saalan as long as you could and when you think it is thick enough add the tamarind paste along with the banana peppers. Simmer again for 10-15 minutes. Voila! Mirchi ka saalan tayyar hain!

Goes well with Biryani! The good thing about Mirchi Ka saalan is its shelf life. It keeps going on and on and on as long as you refrigerate it. Also it belongs to that category of recipes whose taste gets better with time. Enjoy people and thank the Hyderabadi's for coming up with something so divine. :)

Yeh kaisa...A ghazal

2004-12-02T10:02:00.000-08:00

yeh kaisa dard hain jiska koi marham nahin.
yeh kaisa gham hain jiski koi inteha nahin.
*dard - pain, marham - cure, gham - sadness, inteha - limit*

yeh kaisi berukhi hain jiska koi sabab nahin,
yeh kaisa aashiq hain jisme koi wafa nahin.

*berukhi - indifference, sabab - reason, aashiq - lover, wafa - loyalty *

yeh kaisi duniya hain jiska koi khuda nahin,
yeh kaise log hain jinka koi mazhab nahin.

*duniya - world, khuda - God, log - people, mazhab - religion*

yeh kaisi manzil hain, jiska koi pata nahin,
yeh kaunsa raasta hain jiska koi muqaam nahin.
*manzil - destination, pata - address, raasta - way, muqaam - destination*

yeh kaisi taqdeer hain, jisme koi khushi nahin,
yeh kaisi bazm hain, yahaan mera siva koi nahin.
*taqdeer - destiny, khushi - happiness, bazm - meeting, siva - other than *'

yes kaisi zindagi hain jiska koi rehnuma nahin,
Yeh kaisi 'fiza' hain jiska koi rukh nahin.
*zindagi - life, rehnuma - guide, fiza - my takhallus (pen name), rukh -direction*

A few minutes...

2004-11-30T13:50:00.000-08:00

I used to drive with him every day to school. I would not want to but he would insist. So I would go along. I would call him hoping he would not pick the phone up and after just a couple of rings, I'd be really thankful if he did not. But most of the times he would asking me to give him 5 minutes to get ready. I would wait for him resigned to fate. The bus ride in the snowy weather seemed more appealing than riding with him. And to think that he was amongst the best of my friends not a long time ago.

What happened? What changed? Just the fact that I got to know him better. Had a closer look and some of the things apalled me. Was this the same boy I had a big crush on a couple of years ago. The short, dark and very handsome boy with a cute lisp and a deep throated voice. What made him more attractive was the struggle he had to do through in his life. A struggle where he gained strength in himself but a struggle that landed him in situations where he lost his confidence. Tried to make it up with a superiority complex that made him unwanted everywhere. Even with me.

I tried with all my best to be more supportive, to be more understanding, but the more I knew him, the harder it became. Soon I was dreading even facing him. But he knew not the struggle that was going on inside me. After all I did his assignments for him because most of the time he was so tired from working all night that he could hardly keep his eyes open. I saw a proud boy who would insist on doing everything himself even if he were to fail turn into someone who was grateful that someone cared enough to do that for him. But somehow he could never understand that a person could love without expecting anything. The fact that he could not give back something in return maddened him. So the insistence on giving a ride in his car to the school.

I could do nothing but watch ruefully as his life took a downward spiral. I had tried to warn him more than once but he had not paid heed to anything that I said. He was not the sort of person who would listen to anyone. He thought he as the right one, everyone around just trying to take advantage of him. When his life started to fall apart, I could do nothing but watch. He was too proud to accept any help and anyways there was not much I could do to help.

I remember that when we rode back home late in the night, we could see a piece of sculpture that I would each time laugh at because I found the huge piece very, very funny. We used to go by it almost everyday and would share a wink. It was our private joke. The one time we would forget everything that was happening around us and just laugh at the grotesque thing. Just like we had done just a couple or years ago while doing our bachelors. Forgotten were the worries and everything else just for a moment. The atmosphere would lighten for a few minutes and then we'd be back to reality as I would squirm uncomfortably the next half hour as we rode back to the apartment building.

"Do you think you could warm this for me? Our microwave seems to be broke." he asked me once. Rice and Olives mixed together. I added some dal to it and gave it back. I did not want to look into those eyes because I knew they were looking directly at me. He did not say anything, left silently. Everything was falling apart in his life.
"Keep in touch" I told him when he decided to leave everything and go when his engagement with my the then best friend broke.

"I can't, I am sorry. I don't even know what I am going to do" he said.

There were tears in my eyes. Yes, I had never stopped caring about him. I remembered one particular day in life when I had not even known him beyond his roll number, when he had come to my rescue when I suffered an injury as I went to the examination hall. The boy who was a stranger to me but who went on to become an important part of my life as we did our master's together. I finished. He could not.

After a year, I started to drive to work. My thesis was going on. I'd have to go to college from time to time. That's when I realized that the sculpture was not on the way at all. I remembered how much I had laughed the first time I had seen it. He had taken that route coz he had had to make a stop on the way. But after that every single time that we travelled together, it had been the same route. The same sharing of laughter for a few seconds, become the friends we were for a few moments, forget everything for a few minutes. And I hadn't even known he had been going out of the way all the time....

Koi Nahin - A ghazal (Shaayar Unknown)

2004-11-15T08:19:00.000-08:00

I think I would be the first to agree that an english translation could never do justice to an urdu ghazal. Not by a long shot. A very, very long shot. The beauty of the language called Urdu is just too much to be captured in any other language, leave alone English. My efforts here are not to translate as such, but to let people know about the beauty of this language and its ghazals. I started out with the same. Reading various translations and reviews of ghazals. The fact that I had an urdu background helped a lot but as everyone knows, the less said about Hyderabadi urdu the better. Fortunately my family belonged to that set which no doubt had a very heavy Hyderabadi dialect but had a good command over the urdu language. But as it is, the language that gets passed on to the generations becomes a li'l diluted. That's what happened with me.

Though I knew how to use simple urdu words, when some heavy urdu words would be uttered, I'd be left gaping as if I had heard some latin or parsi word. Then came the ghazals, my mom's passion in those days. I was fine as long as I was listening to Pankaj Udhas but would find it very difficult to understand what Jagjit Singh was singing about. There, that gives a very good idea of where I was where urdu was concerned. I felt very lousy that I sucked big time at something which was supposed to be my mother tongue. So I diligently started to work on understanding it better. I thought I'd start right from trying to read it and then graduate from there.

I knew the alphabet, since we are taught to read arabic at a very young age. Though the script of both these languages looks similiar, arabic is very easy (to read and write) when compared to urdu. In the sense that all the maatras (aa,ee,uu) are there in arabic whereas urdu is written sans the maatras. After struggling for a while, I realized that it was too difficult for me in the sense that you have to know the words to read them properly. It is something like 'imprtnt'. If I know important is a word, then I'd get it easily. If not I could end up thinking it is impotent! So the first step was to familiarize myself with urdu words. That would definitely make reading easier for me. So that's where I am right now. Making sense of some parsisque sounding words.

I know I have progressed when I can make out easily what the shaayar is trying to convey through Jagjits Singh's awaaz. My most satisfying moment was when I could dare to listen to Ghulam Ali's ghazals without tuning out. Ah! What a feeling. Ok I digress a lot. All this to show that this is not meant to be strictly a translation but to give my readers, who I am amazed to see appreciate the urdu language for what it is and want to learn more about it and also to educate myself in the process. OK now to the ghazal itself.

This is a ghazal that is marked by its simplicity. Almost all of us I am sure could make out the words easily since they are used in day to day life. I so wish I knew the name of the Shaayar, so that I could read more of his/her stuff. I googled and nothing. Such simple words juxtaposed to give meaning to some stunning realities of life. I am translating the sher and also giving meanings of some of the words. This was a little hard to do with this ghazal since some of the words it uses seem to have similar meaning. Note how beautifully the shaayar places them to get the difference between them out in full force. Enuff said. On to the ghazal itself:

Aashnaa Hootey Huey Bhi Aashnaa Koi Nahien
Jaantey Sab Hein Mujhe, Pehchantaa Koi Nahien

* Aashna - Home, Pehchaanta - recognize *

Even though there is a home, it does not exist
Everyone knows me, but no one recognizes who I am.

Kya baat hain Jaantey hain sab mujhe, pehchaanta koi nahien! How true that rings sometimes in our lives. Life sometimes lands you in such situations that you feel no one understands what you are doing. Note how wonderfully that is conveyed. An inner meaning to look for would be no one understands him at home i.e. he is a stranger amongst his own family. I loved the use of the word 'jaantey' and 'pehchaantey'. For one second they might look like they convey the same meaning. How many of us have heard Jaan Pehchaan used repeatedly. But the sher brings out the subtle variation in meaning between the 2 words. Awesome!

Hum Ney Khud Paeda Kiye Hein Zindagi Mein Masley
Warnaa Sachhi Baat Yeh Hai Key Maslaa Koi Nahien

*paeda - create , masley - problems *
I am the one who has created problems in life,
The truth is there is no problem as such.

A time for self introspection yet again. Said in very simple words and again what amazing depth. Agar dekha jaaye tho most of the problems in life are self created aren't they? Think about it :-)

Khudkushi Bhi Jurm Hai Aur Mai Kashi Bhi Jurm
Koun Kis Mushkil Mein Hai Yeh Dekhtaa Koi Nahien

* Khudkushi - Suicide, Mai Kashi - Drinking , Jurm - Sin
mushkil - difficulty *

Committing suicide is a sin, drinking alchohol is a sin,
No one pays attention to what difficulty the person is going thru.

This is THE sher of the ghazal for me. How often we pass judgement about a person without pausing to think what (s)he might be going through life that might be prompting him/her to act like that. No one has the right to judge me thinks and that's what the shaayar tries to convey and beautifully to boot.

Mukhtasar Lafzoon Mein Hai Yeh Abb Mizaaj-e-Doosti
Raabtaa Bey Shak Hai Sab Sey, Wastaa Koi Nahien

* Mukhtasar - Short, Lafz - Words, Mizaaj-e-dosti - nature of friendship, Raabtaa - Relation, Bey Shak - Without a doubt
Waasta - connection *

The nature of friendship has become abridged,
There is relation with everyone, but a connection with none!

A little urdu heavy sher compared to the simple shers earlier.
Raabtaa bey shak hain sab sey, wastaa koi nahien! Wah! Again the subtle variation of meaning in words that have a similar meaning but change with the way they are used in the sentence. I think I am speechless, so I shall end here.

Strangers - A short story

2004-11-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

Everything eventually comes to an end. Its like you start out life with an empty slate and then you keep writing and erasing stuff. You meet people. You do things. Times people surround you everywhere. Times when you would hear patiently for the slightest of sound. A footstep maybe. A laugh hopefully. But nothing. Not even a pin-drop. Happiness overtakes you sometimes. Only to be replaced by such intense pain sometimes that you wonder how you even survived. But you do. Live through it all. Everything in life, a stranger before, a friend for a while, sometimes becoming even a best friend, before eventually becoming a stranger again. Again and Again.

I looked at my life. I was amazed how I could look at it. Totally detached. As if I was reading an autobiography or watching a movie. Everyone around me relegated to being just a character now. How important they were at that time in life before fading away. Sometimes to turn up again. But eventually to fade into oblivion. Seemed like I was also playing the part of a character. A character that was alien to me. A stranger.

She had walked towards me. Mom I have to tell you something, she said amidst her tears. Dressed in wedding finery. My baby. My precious little baby. Embarking on a life, I thought I had embarked on just yesterday. But here I was looking into the eyes. Eyes that had remained the same. The same eyes of the baby I had held close to my heart. This was one friend who I would not allow to become a stranger, I had thought. Like her father. Attempting to grab whatever out of the mess that had become my life.

12 years I had struggled. For her sake, I’d tell myself. He is her father after all. She adores him. What about one day at a time. No that did not work after a while. So it was one breath at a time until even that became excruciatingly difficult. At one time there had been love. Beauty. Friendship. Now it looked so strange. Nothing as ugly as love gone wrong. A beautiful thing shredded apart. Takes everything out you. If it hadn’t been for her, maybe I’d have given up happily and given in. But there she was. My precious little one. Not so little any more. She was going to be a teenager now. That night I looked in the mirror and the amount of gray in my hair startled me. A dream shattered. A chunk of life waiting to be erased.

The pain hit us both hard. She could not understand how people who seemed to love her so much did not seem to love each other at all. Hadn’t her mom told her that it had been a love marriage? How happy she had felt then. Proud of her parents. Proud of me for going against my family to marry the man I fell in love with. So she looked in horror as her father packed his belongings. She refused to come out of her room for a week. I had to call her father. He came. Threatened to break the door down. She walked out. Delirious. She had brought her father home. He could not leave now. She held onto him. Maybe she could live with me for a while, he reasoned. She jumped at the offer while my eyes stung from the force of it.

Had never felt more lonelier than I did during that time. The door to her room remained closed. Sometimes you cling to a feeling. You know reality is something else but just a fleeting second that you think that she just might be in there was enough to keep me going. She would call from time to time. She would come see me from time to time. But the door to her room remained closed.

Soon even the raw pain started to ease a bit. I could breathe without struggling. Fight with some force the impulse to just go and join father and daughter. What was I fighting? What was I waiting for? Then I’d look at the scar. The emotional scar a decade of a compromised life had left. It ran deep. Even the love for my daughter could not cloud that scar. It remained ever fresh in my memory. So I picked the pieces and moved along.

How long had it been since she had left? Correction, since they had left. But somehow he did not count. A stranger doesn’t, after all. Had it only been a couple of months? How did I survive? For the simple reason that I had to. There are no ifs and buts in life. It goes on and you have to go along. Unless you want to kill yourself which could be either the ultimate act of cowardice or of courage. I belonged to neither category, so I had breathed, ate and gone on. And yes waited. Waited for her arrival. Which came eventually. Not a long time after that. Forgotten was the misery and wretchedness of a few days back. But the pain of erasing a lifetime of memories remained.

That’s when I found him. Just when I had thought that hope and happiness were but strangers in my life. But somehow they found me again. He found me and they followed suit. Life was again going towards beauty, love and friendship. I could not hide the joy of my being as she probed. Who was he? Why did I go out with him? How could I do this to her dad? But soon it looked like she got used to him. He tried with all his might and broke the shell. They got along. That’s all I wanted. For them to get along. Soon it looked like they had become might fond of each other. Marry me, he said a year later. I thought I had been sure before, but this time I knew I was sure. Yes, please, I said as the familiar warmth of his arms welcomed me.

One day she came to me as I was working on my wedding dress. I have to tell you something mom, she said. I looked up at her. Her face pale and haggard. Her depressed self had not escaped my attention. I had put it down to jitters before her mother’s wedding. But I had waited. Waited for her to come out with what was bothering her. She did. Mamma, he molests me, she said. Once sentence that made the entire world turn into a stranger once again. My daughter even, this time. An all encompassing set.

A decade later she walks towards me. The dress not too different from the one I had stashed away in the bottom drawer of my Chester. A dress that had tasted blood as the needle had pricked my thumb as her words had stabbed my heart.
“I am sorry Mama. I have to tell you…”
“I already know”
“But…”
“I just have one question. Why?”
“Dad said he loved you still. That he wanted to get back with you.”

Ultimate deception. Using my daughter as a pawn against me. Somehow it did not surprise me. I was right in not joining him even at my most vulnerable moment. I nodded. She hugged and cried. Not a tear escaped my eye. Forgive me mamma, forgive me. She said. Again I nodded, patted her on the back and she walked away towards her life. A stranger once again.

*The End*

Agar (if) - A translation of a ghazal by Noshi Gilaani

2004-11-08T08:35:00.000-08:00

Humaray Bass Mein Agar Apney Faislay Hoote
Tou Hum Kabhi Kay Gharoon Ko Palatt Gaye Hoote

This sher translates to something like If the decisions were in our hands, then we'd have returned home long ago. I think the shaayar here is trying to say that due to the decisions made by fate, he is where he is. That if the power to make decisions was in hand, then he'd be back home. Home here is used to denote a safe haven I think.Somewhere where you could be safe from the unfairness of life. *

Kareeb Reh Kar Sulagney Sey Kitnaa Behtar Thaa
Kisi Maqaam Par Hum Tum Bichar Gaye Hoote

This is the sher I like the most in this ghazal and the reason I chose this for my translation stuff. Translated it goes like instead of being close and going through hell, it'd have been better if we had parted at some place. I was like WOW kya deep meaning hain. Once again there are 2 possible scenarios here. That they are very much in love and cannot be together, so it is hell. Or that they are together and the result has not been a good one. I prefer to take the second meaning because that way it sounds deeper to me though I have a feeling that the first one might be where the shaayar was leaning towards in this nazm. Isn't that a wonderful thought though. That it is better to seperate at some point in life than to cause untold misery to each other by being together.
Ok let me gush a few seconds on the magic of the language called urdu. Note the use of the word 'sulagney'. Literally translated it means being on fire. But that conveys a wrong meaning. Here sulagna is meant to denote something like being in constant agony. Kinda like the burning of fire. More so the burning of coal. The slow and constant burning of embers. How wonderfully the word is used here. For those who do not understand urdu well, this would be a very difficult word to translate. Magical.

Kabhi Tou Rait Ko Hum Muthiyoun Mein Bharr Laite
Kabhi Hawaayoun Se Apney Mukaalmay Hoote

This goes someting like Wish I could have been able to fill my fist with sand sometimes and have a conversation with the wind sometime. This is a sher that hopes for the impossible. How beautifully the shaayar uses the simile of sand slipping out of your hands. It is like he wants that sand not to slip out. To stay in his fist. Ah!

Humaarey Naam Pe Koi Charaagh Tou Jaltaa
Kisi Zubaan Pe Humaarey Bhi Tazkaray Hoote

This sher is sorta related to the impossible mood in the last sher. In that sher the shaayar was hoping for the impossible to happen and then goes to say this in the same vein implying that this is an impossible task too. Translated it means that he wishes that someone could have lighted some lamps in hi name and there could have been his discussions on someone's lips. The first line I thought belonged to the category of used over a lot of places. This is because I have heard many a time the phrase chiraag ke naam jalaana. But the second line is what makes it a standout sher once again. Again the magic of urdu in play here people. Feel how beautiful the line sounds when you mouth it. Zubaan pe humaarey tazkaray! Boy!

Hum Apna Koi Alag Raastaa Banaa Laite
Humaarey Dil Ney Agar Hooslay Kiye Hoote

Again longing for some strength in oneself. Lamenting one's character which could have been stronger. The shaayar says - I would have made a path of my own, if my heart had some courage. This sher is related to the first sher where the shaayar is pointing fingers at himself for the pain which he finds himself in. There it was more indirect, but here it is more direct. In the first sher the author does not specify what it was that did not allow him to make his own decisions. It could have been fate or it could have been his desires. Here it is clearer. Its his dil - heart. Again 2 scenarios here. One which would say that his heart might have chosen to fall in love against his wish. Or that he did not have the courage to pursue his love. Whatever it is, the ghazal in whole conveys a regret. A regret for being where he is right now.

Kaise Mitayen?

2004-11-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

Dil ki khwaishon pe bandishen kaise lagaayen
umeed jo tumse bandhi hain use kaise mitayen?

(khwaish - desire, bandish - stop, umeed - hope)

Tere intezaar ki raah mein nigahen kaise na bichaayen,
Jeena ka jo ek maqsad bacha hain use kaise mitayen?

(intezaar - wait, raah - route,
nigahen - eyes, bichaana - to spread,
maqsad - reason, bacha - remaining)

Tadapte is dil ki awaaz tum thak kaise pahunchaayen,
Faasle do darmiyan jo badh gayen hain unhe kaise mitayen?

(Tadapte - In pain, faasle - distances, darmiyaan - between)

Tere baahon mein guzri hui shaam kaise bhulaayen,
Maazi ke pannon pe teri likhi hui kahaani kaise mitayen?

(Maazi ke panne - Pages from past)

Jo ho na saka uska gham kab thak uthaayen,
jo ho sakta tha, uski aarzoo kaise mitayen?
(arzoo - desire)

Aa bhi jaa, ke yeh silsila-e-tanhaai kise sunayen,
ke dard thamta nahi, iske nishaan kaise mitayen?

(silsila-e-tanhaai - the state of being lonely on and on,
thamta - stop, nishaan - prints)

shikayat na kar agar agar kal hum na nazar aayen,
aaj kal dhoond rahen hain bahaane apne aap ko mitaane!

(shikayat - complain, dhoond - seek, bahaane - excuses)

Choices - A Short Story

2004-10-07T13:29:00.000-07:00

A creative spinoff from a remark I caught at the wedding. Here goes:

"You should thank God that you did not marry each other" she said.I smiled. A forced smile. More force than smile. I could not read his expression. His face was turned away. What must he be thinking? Ah! I would give more than a penny for those thoughts going through his brain. Or atleast a glimpse of the emotion running across his visage. It did not help that it was dark outside. Could not even catch the side of his face as he concentrated on driving the car. An uneasy silence permeated the air. I don't know if she bit her tongue after saying what she did, do not even know if she realized what a big deal statement she had made. I did not dare look at her because I was scared that she'd read the conflict going throuhg my bosom. I chose to keep quiet.
I had done the same thing a few years ago when he had told me that he was getting married to the girl of his parents choice. I wanted to say so much then. I wanted to tell him to reject the girl. He stood there looking at me as if expecting me to do just that. But I knew it would not work out. There was no doubt that we were soul mates, but what we wanted from life was drastically different. He wanted a good life. A life without compromises. Even if it meant compromising old friends and family. He was willing to go to any lengths to achieve this dream. A dream of riches and success. Love did not hold the same meaning to him as it did to me. To me Love did not mean just loving this one person in your life and willing to do and sacrifice anything for that person. For me love meant much more. Love meant being around family, love meant not leaving the country I was born in, love meant not being afraid to struggle for a good life in your home instead of going outside where it is being handed out to you in a platter. Yes, love meant all those things to me. It didn't to him. So I had no choice but to keep quiet.
I watched him walk behind her in all her wedding finery. There was no doubt, they formed a striking couple. Tears welled up in my eyes but I blinked them away by a smile so wide that they just went back where they came from. I tried to stay away from the centre of attraction as far as I could. I did not want to catch his eye. An eye I could look into and know what was going on in the deep recesses of his brain. But suddenly there it was looking straight into my eyes. I did not want to read what was going behind them. I tried to avert my gaze, but that day nothing seemed to be in my control. We were locked in that embrace for a while before someone came between our line of sight. Not giving enough time for me to figure out what he must have been thinking. But enough time to realize that he was missing me already. To think that he'd be flying out of my life in a few days, maybe forever, who knows was frightening. The man I had shared what to me were the most precious moments of my life choosing to share even more precious moments with a stranger in an even stranger land. Keep in touch, he said as he waved me good bye at the airport. I nodded but chose to keep quiet.
I was stumbling along, determined to make my life as good as those of all my friends and colleagues who had chosen to go abroad to pursue the same dream. I was determined to show one particular person amongst them, that it was possible. That you could work hard enough and succeed. India or US did not matter. What mattered was your determination to succeed. And succeed I did. Maybe I did not make even 1/4th of the money that everyone else made out there, I was pretty satisfied. Sure, I had to work my butt out (and kiss some others) to be where I was today, but no one could deny that I had made a success out of life. Success out of living in my country of birth with my family around me. I finally decided to seek out the person I so wanted to show that it could be done. There had been a few emails, a few phone calls in the beginning. But I had chosen to keep quiet.
The moment was here. I felt that my heart would any minute jump out of its resting place if it beat any faster. I stared and stared before I hit the send button on the browser. The email sped thru. 4 years and all the while he had just been a button click away.Yet, I had chosen to keep quiet.
He was visiting for his sister's wedding. A sister who he claimed to have remained in constant touch over the years even though he had never seen her once during the time. I had scoffed when he had told me that. Calling once a month for a few hours is hardly being constantly in touch I had chided him. He had taken offense at my words, but that was who I was. I would chose to keep quiet when I'd feel like it but I could say my mind when the need arose. This time around I had not chosen to keep quiet. It would be great to see you after such a long time, he said recovering from his hurt. This time I chose to keep quiet.
When I saw him at the airport I was furious with him. He had led a life so far away from me that I could not be a part ever of even if I had tried. The fact that I had not tried(which was his grumble) did not seem to be the problem here. To me, the fact that he had chosen to move so far away was the problem. I was closer to the sister he claimed to love so much. Atleast I could rush over when she was stranded during the auto bandh. Where was he? What good could a 30-minute phone call in the middle of the night every saturday could do? I could never forgive him for choosing other things in life above the more important ones. Sure, he was wearing a Tommy Hillfiger T-Shirt with some expensive Limited or whatever the brand name on the jeans was. Somehow I could not differentiate between the man I had waved good bye at the airport all those years ago and the same man who had grown into a stranger, an expensively attired one at that. sure, there were more laugh lines and there were a couple of lines on the forehead, but I had not been a part of it. Suddenly I felt left out. I wanted to run from there but I chose to just stand there and face the onslaught of emotions.
I was officially in-charge of taking the couple around town. A few years outside of the country and he was unsure about the streets and the lanes of his native city? The streets and lanes he had frequented for more than 25 years. Oh! It had changed a lot and I could never drive in this mess was cited as the reason. He bit his lip when I gave him of my less-liked stares. Why is that every thing I say becomes an issue with you, he asked slowly. Even the wife concurred with him. I looked at them looking at me, not knowing what to tell them. Had it been that way. You are at his throat whenever he opens his mouth to say something, she joked. But I knew there was truth hidden somewhere there. That's when she said it - "You should thank God that you did not marry each other". Again, I chose to keep quiet.

A trip down memory lane...

2004-09-30T08:43:00.000-07:00

Gonna be out for a few days people. Off to Los Angeles to attend one of my best friends wedding. I am soooo looking forward to it. We are a group of very close knit group of friends dating back to almost a decade now. We were classmates in Engineering. Through the years we have shared all that is to share between friends. Yes, there have been times when things got too busy and we'd loose touch for a while. Just a while though. One phone call and all the distances would melt away. We have struggled together, succeeded together, laughed together and cried together. When we visit each other, we go to sleep only after our eyes close without any effort from us whatsoever. At the end of the trip all of us are so thoroughly exhausted that we end up taking off work after the trip is finished ;-)

I consider myself very lucky to be a part of this close knit group. I know that aside from my immediate family there are some other people in this world I could trust and depend on without blinking an eye. Yeah, yeah some of my stories have been based on their lives. I take a part of the person's life and just build on it adding masala and imagination to the situation at hand.
So this guy who is getting married is like a pillar that I can always depend on. He calls me faithfully every week. He is a sort of closed personality, not letting his emotions show through but the last time he was here, he let me in to his innermost feelings. The problems he is facing (he never lets anyone know what he is going through), the family pressures, the hunt for a nice girl. I loved a statement of his. His family wanted a very beautiful girl for him. He is a very eligible bachelor. Tall, dark and attractive looking but not your I-can-knock-you-off-with-my-looks type. They found this really beautiful heroine-like girl for him, the major reason for her selection being her fair skin (I know the fascination still EXISTS!Sigh!) and sharp features. He put his foot down saying that he had no problem as long as she had other qualities going for her. He refused when he discovered that she did not seem to be the kind of person he was looking for. He finally decided on the bride-to-be who to me seems like another version of him. Well if she's half as loyal, honest and conscientious like he is, I am sure they are going to make a great couple. I sincerely hope so.

Then there is a couple amongst us who got married to each other. Love spending time with them. The nice thing about them is both of them are like my best friends and no one feels left out when we go yakkity-yakking thinking of the college days - the samosas, the chais, the fights over who is going to treat that day, the not-wanting-to-go-home feeling and the carefree existence. For a few days it is going to seem like that again though there are some babies and kids running about.

The funniest thing is that we are going to LA and what do we plan to do? Go to Disney Land (for the kid's sake) and lounge on the oceanside for a day maybe. But most of all we are like let's not waste time going here and there. Let's just be together (we haven't been all together in a long long time). That's the best enjoyment there is - is our attitude.
For sure I'll blog about the trip once I get back. But for now folks, this is your's truly signing off. Take care all of you.

Getting over you - In Stages

2004-09-29T15:48:00.000-07:00

Here is a ghazal (by Adeem Hashmi) that traces different stages in being torn apart from the person you love. It flows like a narrative that reaches its ultimate conclusion. I am sure most of us have been through some of the stages if not all...

faasle aise bhii ho.nge ye kabhii sochaa na thaa
saamane baiThaa thaa mere, aur vo meraa na thaa

faasle - distances;
Ah! The deliciousness of this sher. This is like the first stage in the process where you realize that the person that was everything to you is not yours anymore, Imagine the situation. He/She is sitting right in front of you and they are not yours. Kya baat hain!

vo ki Khushbuu kii tarah phailaa thaa mere chaar suu
mai.n use mahasuus kar sakataa thaa chhuu sakataa na thaa

mahsuus - feel;
This is a more delicately expressed sher here. Can feel her around, but cannot touch her - sort of continuation of the first sher. Again the 'khoobi' of sher-o-shaayri kicks in with the meaning of the sher changing slightly depending on how you look at it. It could be a more literal meaning where she is physically present and he is unable to touch her or it could be that she is just present in his thoughts now and that he could just feel her presence and could never touch her. Either way wah! bhai wah!

raat bhar us kii hii aahaT kaan me.n aatii rahii
jhaa.Nk kar dekhaa galii me.n ko_ii bhii aayaa na thaa

aahat - sound, jhaank kar - to peep;
This is the stage where you keep thinking that she is going to come back to you. You keep imagining this thing and that thing. That the rustle there is her dress swaying in the wind, the creak of the floor is because she stepped on it, the slightly increased pace of the heart seems to signal her arrival somewhere. But alas! it is not so. No one's there! ::::-(

aks to maujuud the par aks tanahaa_ii ke the
aa_iinaa to thaa magar us me.n teraa cheharaa na thaa

aks - image, maujuud - present, tanhaa_ii - being alone, aa_iina - mirror, chehraa - face;

This falls under the category of those shers again which convey different meanings depending on how you look at the sher where the shaayar does not tell us directly that his beloved is not with him. Instead looks in the mirror and does not find her there. It could have 2 meanings, that she was physically not present with him or he might be conveying that she is not a part of him anymore - that he could not find her in him. I personally would like to take the later translation. More profound eh?

aaj us ne dard bhii apane alahadaa kar diye
aaj mai.n royaa to mere saath vo royaa na thaa

alahadaa - to make off limit (not sure about the meaning here!)
I am not sure about the exact meaning of this word but I guess it means the loved one has not shared her pain with him. I particularly like the second line. Now you are totally alone in your pain and suffering. She seemed to have moved on.

ye sabhii viiraaniyaa.N us ke judaa hone se thii.n aa.Nkh
dhu.Ndhalaa_ii hu_ii thii shahar dhu.Ndhalaayaa na thaa

viiraaniyan - silence, loneliness, dhundalaa_ii - to get foggyI love this sher. Its like everything that is happening around the shaayar (which seems to be bad) is not because of things around him but because of the seperation from the person he loves. How true that rings. He realizes not that the root cause of his pain and hurt is not because the world around him is insensitive but because she tore him apart leaving him alone.

yaad karake aur bhii takaliif hotii thii "Adeem"
bhuul jaane ke sivaa ab ko_ii bhii chaaraa na thaa

takleef - pain
The ghazal reaches a conclusion here. Sorta like a conclusion to the entire I-have-to-get-over-you process. The shaayar addresses himself saying he had no other option but to forget his love. But can one forget completely when one has loved so deeply and even more importantly has a heart that can pen down shers like this! Hoo boy - that would lead to just another ghazal.
Impressed yet by the power of expression in a ghazal people?

A foot note sher to the ghazal:

bhoolna chaaha magar, bhoolna na ho saka
woh saath na tha , phir bhi maujuud tha -- by your's truly!

In defence of Hindi Movies

2004-09-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

I decided to write this blog after reading umpteen blogs making fun of Hindi movies. Oh! That does not mean that I did not like reading those blogs. Infact I quite enjoyed them. There were some very interesting and apt observations. Now let's see how would a Bollywood film be without all the predictables and cliches thrown in. Here goes my list.

1. No, its not the interval. Its the end of the movie. Well sure the ticket costs $8. Why don't you say the same thing when you go to an English film? Aren't you the ones who keep saying - oh! how much more of this torture. So we decided to keep it short for ya!
2. Yes an actual lip lock with no hulla-boo whatsoever. Surprised the heroine did not shout off the rooftops proud over how long the kiss lasted and what a great kisser the hero is!
3. No there was no rape scene. Yes, the hero does have a sister. But they don't remain that much in touch. She moved out long back and is her own woman and does not need brother dearest to save her from all the lechs in the world. She can well do that herself! Don't like it? Well, move with the changing world will ya?
4. Yes a fight sequence without dishum-dishum. More of like push and shove. What? Where's the thrill in that you ask? Well weren't you the one complaining when the hero was bashing up an army?
5. Yes, it is song-less film. Now, now don't swoon. If you want music why don't you watch all those music videos on TV. So if you want some foot tapping numbers, this is not the place to be.
6. No, there is no Switzerland sequence. For Christ's sake the hero is struggling to make ends meet and you expect him to cavort with his girl friend in the Swiss alps? Yes you will miss out on the stunning visuals, but hey you get to see how our hero finally manages to eat that day! Not interested in his day to day struggle? Well you wanted stark reality didn't you?
7. You did not get the ending? Welcome to the club.
8. Where is the romance you ask? Well, didn't you know how fast the world rushes by these days. That is why the hero meets the woman for lunch and then meets her in bed at night. Get used to the pace since you were the ones complaining about how slow it used to be.
9. No everything does not end well. You are not happy? Well would you have been happier if there was a long lost millionaire uncle that the hero would unite with at the end. That sounds better than the real ending? Well, you should not have complained so much about the fairy tale endings!
10. You missed 'Indianness' in the film? What happened to I wish they'd learn something from the West Film Makers?Just having some fun yaaro. Yeah sure Bollywood films have a long way to go. But there's no denying they are lotsa fun. Well some of them atleast and I can never expect a hollywood film to give me the same kind of joy, nostalgia and satisfaction a well made Hindi film might give not to mention the handsome heroes and gorgeous (atleast they were) heroines.